i'm about to get into a relationship with a new girl. i'm not over my old girlfriend entirely, and my relationship(revived friendship) (which led to this) was built on my trying to seem inaccesible to my old gf and make her jealous. the problem with the new girl is that i have several personal issues as well as things i dont like about her that get in the way.

HER

1. She had copious amounts of sex with the past two guys she was in a relationship with.(both of which lasted awhile)

2. She is extremely flirtatious and does stuff with lots of guys. she claims to have liked me for a while, but during this time that she "liked me" she did shit w/ other guys repeatedly (not sex)

3. she is a good person, very loyal to her friends

(that doesn't bother me, just to give you a perspective that she isn't just some ho)

ME

1. I have a big problem with people "understanding" me. I feel that i give away a piece of my soul every time i discuss something personal to me. I dont like people knowing all that stuff. im the guy that will feel he's given a part of himself away if he shares a band that only he listens to(maybe 1 or 2 other people in the school have even heard of it) with a friend and then they don't show much interest, or discussed something with someone,(personal issues, fears and the like) and then they know that and don't offer any help

2. I don't discuss stuff with people, I feel my problems are not other people's business and i hat appearing weak and cringe at the thought of depending on someone.

3. I don't want to get hurt, as i get really attached to girls i date

i dont know wether i want to date her or not. I am a bit lonely and kissing a girl that likes me makes me feel a bit less empty.

any serious thought and advice/criticism/similar experiences extremely welcome.

thanx

Just be cool. I wouldn't worry about anything. Don't get too attatched either.

Flow.

Life is but a dream...

My last relationship before I cheated on her and dumped her was like that.

About how you feel when you talk about personl stuff to people, and feel that you have given a piece of your "soul" away. I am almost the same. I don't open up to people unless they open up to me.

If you're not sure you can trust her then just be "together" with her, you're not going out but you two are friends with benefits. So that way there can't be any cheating because you are not going out in the first place, or dont' go out with her in the first place.

Peace.

you have to open up. get close enough with the girl that you know she won't hurt you for no reason, then open up to her. thats what love is, giving someone a part of your soul. the past is what it is, past. just let it go, if it bothers you, forget about it.

i don't feel like playing her games, or hanging out with her friends. she hates to call me, and I want this to be a fun relationship.

last relationship, fun, laid back, but she was very forward with how she liked me.(all over me) that was cool, thius girl has a problem with making the first move. any more advice

If you don't click, you don't click. Bail now. Don't ever feel like you need to try and make something work out with a girl you're just starting to get with. All that does is set the stage for a hellish relationship where neither of you is really happy.

What stood out to me in your statement was the fact that you wanted to seem inaccessible to your ex by dating this girl...that tells me that you really aren't ready for another relationship and maybe you should spend time dating yourself for awhile...

It's obvious that you still have feelings for your ex and it's also obvious that you have a tendancy to define yourself by who you are dating.. Slow down, take it easy, and enjoy being single for awhile....Eventually you'll be able to jump back into the game without fear of rejection, or being hurt. When it's time you will be able to pick and choose who you want to date rather than feeling forced to date someone you may not even like just to piss someone off...