I'm a lonely kid. I am not a very happy kid either. i went through a period of depression for a couple months and it sucked, but things were finally looking better for me. I was starting to realize that if your out looking for something to make you happy you'll never find it. if you aren't happy where you are, you won't be happy anywhere else either. So i was doing okay, i had friends, i had a life, the only thing wrong was me being really lonely, but that was about to change.

I met a girl named Nikki. She went to me for advice because people said i was good at giving it. Hey, i've been through quite a bit so people look towards me for help with some things. She was just having problems with her ex being an asshole and her being lonely and depressed. Somehow or another we started liking each other. she's a great girl she really is. I got to know her better and we have stuff in common and i asked her out. she said yes and i was finally happy. i wasn't lonely, i wasn't depressed, i was where i wanted to be.

I've always been one to think that the word love is thrown around too much, and that love is something that lasts no matter what. So when she said after a week or so that she was falling in love with me, i was suprised, but when i looked back at it. i was falling for her too. so eventually we both agreed it was love though i had my doubts. It felt weird because i had had a few girlfriends before but with them it was always me hoping it would last. With nikki it was almost if i knew it would last and that we'd be married some day.

Things were going great. i hadn't seen her for 4 days so I missed her a lot and today i got to see her. well my friend who is her friend too came a long, and the whole time i was jealous because she seemed to be like flirting with him the whole time. and at one point they ditched me and went for a walk. i got suspicious but i figured if she loved me she wouldn't do anything with him.

Turns out......she didn't. they had to talk about something. when i got home, i talked to her on instant messenger and asked her what it was that they were talking about. She said she still liked her ex a bit and that she needed time to sort things out so basically. she ended it. It was a complete shock to me, i thought maybe she was mad cuz i was obviously jealous of my friend and that is what she was talking about, but no, i hear this.

So just like that, things went from perfect, to horrible. I am beginning to like the song Yesterday quite a bit as of late, seeing as it applies to me.

But there was hope and i knew that. I talked to her, told her that being alone to sort out problems doesn't help because you end up just thinking of everyone else and how bad things seem to be. i told her a bunch of stuff about how happiness isn't going to be somewhere else, its right in front of her. then i said that i was hoping she would say "I was wrong, i don't want to leave you" but i told her that that prob wouldn't happen. and she said those words. i was completely suprised and happy.

But things have a way of turning on you. just like before, something happened. i told her that my friend liked her and she said she liked him a tiny bit but would never go otu with him because they were good friends. That didn't bother me much. but i got confused because she also said that if i didnt date her i'd still talk to her and stuff. so i asked her if we were going out or not. and she said. I don't know. Another complete shock. i was like completely confused. she said that she wasn't good enough for me, and that she figured she would jsut hurt me again. ahh, bullshit.

It's how life works though, hopefully we'll work things out. Thanks for reading all that if you even did bother to.

Yeah, I read the whole thing. it's amazing how strange girls can be. And how weird life is at times. Except in my case I get completely ignored by all the girls at school even when I waste 20 seconds of my life trying to talk to them, then i just get tuned out. As a result I have taken no real interest in anyone.

[This message has been edited by DarkFire47 (edited 08-27-2003).]

Thats confusing try this on for size. I was once told. "I love you its just that I love you so much that I can't be with you because of fear of loosing you." I told her "You're hurting me because we are not together." Then it ended there.

ok... i really really hate to be the one that says this, but for some reason im the only one that ever says it.

maybe she was just trying to let you down easy. hopefully, im wrong.

another possibility that nearly happened with me and mine, she might just be confused and need somke time to sort herself out. she seems to have confidence and self worth problems, but maybe that was the whole 'lessening the blow with a compliment' thing. girls like to do shit like that. they're stupid.

it's stuff like this that makes me wish i was gay.

many times i've wished i was gay. i have a few gay friends who are really gay, it'd be so much easier.

yah, i hope she is just trying to sort stuff out. its weird though, i've tried to sort stuff out my whole life and never got anywhere till i stopped trying.

yea ur getting fuked over, this girl obviously is a multi guy sorta girl. i dunno wha tto do tho..

That SAME EXACT SCENARIO happened to me... My life was shitty I wasn't really having a lot of fun, but then I started smoking weed (420 ) and like now my best friend likes her and she likes him... I said dude don't mess with her, and he was like alright dude. Next thing I know, we smoked a fucked up ass blunt and htye make out on her bed. Ain't that some shit? Oh, and they both weren't even high, I was the high person. I rolled it sparked it and smoked like half of it before giving those 2 anything. Life is some bullshit.

ah man, thats girls for ya. They dont think that us males have feelings and we to can get hurt with them. Next time you are about to ask a girl out, get to know her history a bit more so if she had a good relationship with someone she still see's now and again...think what could happen.

quote:Originally posted by [eXo5]Metal:

That SAME EXACT SCENARIO happened to me... My life was shitty I wasn't really having a lot of fun, but then I started smoking weed (420 ) and like now my best friend likes her and she likes him... I said dude don't mess with her, and he was like alright dude. Next thing I know, we smoked a fucked up ass blunt and htye make out on her bed. Ain't that some shit? Oh, and they both weren't even high, I was the high person. I rolled it sparked it and smoked like half of it before giving those 2 anything. Life is some bullshit.

But on the bright side, you bumped them out of half a blunt!

Man i feel for you. Teenage girls dont know what they want because they know they have so many options. If i were u i wouldnt take any realtionship to seriously untill u get out of highschool or your just gonna get hurt again my friend.



Mr.Monk aka Blizzard of OZ

ok listen here cookiemnstr8me women are always there trust me i have told myself a trillion times i think that "this one" is the one but it never turns out the way you think all i can say is keep your chin high your nuts in your hand and drink coffee and listen to some Soundgarden especially their album "SUPERUNKNOWN because it has alot of quote unquote "emo" songs now adays but the best song is called Fell on Black says and the fucking cult classic BLACK HOLE SUN dont worry dog if she loved you she will choose you and if she choose the other limp dick then fate my friend handed you a cup of shit!

Jules

quote:Originally posted by KungFuJim:

Man i feel for you. Teenage girls dont know what they want because they know they have so many options. If i were u i wouldnt take any realtionship to seriously untill u get out of highschool or your just gonna get hurt again my friend.



Mr.Monk aka Blizzard of OZ

i totaly agree with this. Just today, i was giving advice to a very good friend of mine, she has been fucked around by this guy and it was pretty much the same situation that you're in but the girl replaces the boy and vice-verca. Try to take things in your stride mate, itll work itself out in the end, just dont take things to serious in highschool, maybe itll get better (if) you go to collage, there are loadsa people out there and i garantee you there is some one for you.

And, all girls go through a part of their life thinking that they are gods gift and that they can do what they want, chucking the feelings and emotions of other people around, some grow out of it, some dont. Sadly thats the way it is.

yea seriously, teen girls suck(dick)

quote:Originally posted by KungFuJim:

Teenage girls dont know what they want because they know they have so many options.

lemme tell you somethin... it doesn't end after the teenage years (with most girls anyway). here's my latest fiasco...

i was talkin to this girl online for bout a week which is normal for me because its so much easier to screen a girl online before you go to meet her. i had been going out with my g/f for a LONG time (5 years on-&-off) and was thinking about breaking it off cause she was getting this really bitchy i hate everyone and kiss my ass if you wanna help me attitude. well this online girl was on the rocks with her current b/f cause he had a drug prob and was getting to be a real prick and somewhat abusive, too. well she seems like a really cool chick and we have a lot in common and we're giving each other advice and whatnot since we're in similar situations. so one day she im's me and tells me she just broke up with her b/f and wants to talk to someone. so i'm like ok, i had broken up with my ex a couple days earlier and said we should meet up (she lives like, 5 mins. away). so i scoop her up and we go out and have drinks and whatnot, talk about how hard it is ending a long term relationship. she's really fucking cute and is just as cool in real life as she was online. we go to leave the bar we're at and she wants to chill at her house. well no fuckin doubt about that, eh! so we're watchin tv on her couch and i go to kiss her and next thing i know, we're making out and hunching (dry fucking for the non southerners ) on her couch. go upstairs, do the nasty, and its bout 3 - 3:30AM. well i had JUST got this job and it was my first day that morning at 7AM so i tell her i gotta get some sleep and i'll call her as soon as i get off that day. she seemingly understands this. be afraid.

::5PM...later that same day::

i call her and her machine picks up. i'm completely beat from lack of sleep and take a nap. wake up at 8 or 9PM and call her again. she picks up and is IRATE because i "hit and quit". so i'm trying to explain that i was tired and took a nap and she's completely fuckin' psycho! well, long story short, she goes back to her ex, gives me a hardy "fuck u" whenever she's online, and blames me for being an insensitive bastard. and i was trying to really get into a relationship with her, too! i even apologized for the whole thing and it was totally not my fault (classic move).

::moral of the story::

you will NEVER understand women...EVER, any man who says he does is a liar, movies about understanding women are so fictional its retarded, and be glad you found out how a girl REALLY is before you got into something serious or worse, get married. my 2 cents.

::whew::...long post for this lazy bum. 420...

ha, i've given up on her. turns out she didn't mean any of the things she said really. she was just using me as just like a temporary replacement or something. well i dunnno. she was sort of on the rebound when i asked her out. so im pretty sure she was just using me to make herself feel better. bitch.

im just going to try and have fun and not care about love for now, i mean im only 14. it will come upon me soon enough, i don't need to worry about it.

There's ups and there's downs. People, for some reason, tend to dwell on the bad and ignore the good. Here, this is more general than specifically to relationships. But if you're outlook is bleak, try some of these, hopefully at least one will help.

1.)Get rid of negative people in your life. If this is not possible, always feign happiness around them and perhaps it’ll rub off.

2.)Throw out and stop listening to depressing music. I’ve experienced the power of music and it’s ability to influence you in a good way or make you want to go smash someone’s face. Try to listen to the early years of The Beatles, hell, even Black Flag can be somewhat uplifting.

3.)Get rid of the Feng Shui! Yeah, you know that glow of newness when you move into a new house or room or when you redecorate your room? The glow makes you feel happy, makes you enjoy the space. If you’re no longer enjoying your space, change the furniture around. It might sound petty but it really does get out the ‘bad vibes’.

4.)Don’t depend on people or things to make you happy. Namely the opposite sex and drugs. Sadly, you can’t depend on anyone to be there forever and you have to turn within to bring true happiness. It might be a good filler at the time but sex and drugs do not have good effects on you if you’re using them to make you feel better. Yes, sex does make you healthy and I believe that certain drugs can help you on the road of enlightenment but using them as a comfort is dumb.

5.)Strengthen your chi. Meditate, pick up a hobby, explore the world around you. The more time you have alone the more time you’ll be able to discover who you are. When you figure yourself out, you’ll be able to pick apart emotions and feeling and have a more objective view on why you act the way you do. Ignoring your feelings and desires can only hurt you.

6.)Accept the bad things you can’t change. If there’s something specific that is getting you down, that you can’t help, acceptance is the road to serenity. It wasn’t ‘meant’ to be the way you wanted, get over it, and concentrate on something else. Something better.

7.)Take care of yourself. This may sound like a given but people don’t have as good hygiene as they should. If you time out a schedule of things to do everyday, you’ll have more self esteem and confidence. Confidence=happy. Take a shower, exercise, eat healthy, wash your face. Give yourself a pedicure! And guys before you skip this one, try it. Your feet soaking in warm water feels very good.

8.)Find something with meaning in your life. Anything. Mine is my little brother. I love him so much and there isn’t one thing on the planet that means more to me them him. Just being around him has made me happy when I was upset. Has given me a reason to keep fighting when I wanted to give up. Find something you’re passionate about and think about it when you’re being a killjoy.

9.)Take a step outside the box. I am proof that a couple days vacation can have a huge impact on your life. Get out of environment for a little while. Let all your problems escape your mind and go somewhere relaxing and fun.

10.)Don’t dwell on how it ‘used to be’. Yes, we have a lot of great memories but sitting around and wallowing is only restraining us from going out and making new happy memories. It’s true, things can always be worse and you should be happy about your current status. It’s also true that thing can always be better and you can strive for that

To summarize, girls are confusing bitches.

quote:Originally posted by stephanina:

To summarize, girls are confusing bitches.

FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE AGREES!

To summarize, "LIFE IS IN SESSION"!! Love, Venus.

I know exactly how you feel about 'getting married someday'. It's hard to realize reality that my girlfriend will leave me someday.

Oh well, life goes on. Have fun and try not to worry about girls, they are evil.



Shek