So your heart has been broken into tiny bits- what is better, to hold it in, suck it up and get on with it, or to let it out and wallow for a bit?



I think its better for a stiff upper lip in public. Just a small fight and being broken up for four days and I was ready to cry my heart out.

But I was at my folks' house, and my mom was in the room doing laundry while we were talking. I cursed myself for letting one tear out, because I really couldn't talk with her about it, and she knew something was wrong.

I just kept telling myself to think about something else until I got back home and we had a chance to sort things out. It was hard, but I think better than me spilling to my mother or other friends, buming them out, and revealing my personal life to everyone I knew.

Hold it in, but I'm a guy. We don't express things like that.

Vas is dis 'heartbreak?"

Yeah, it sucks, but crying and wailing in public makes one appear insane, or leaves one with much explaining to do.

But you gotta process heartbreak and get it out of your system. I tend to do stuff like flee to Curacao for a month-long benzo and scuba binge. Those things don't mix well, and I didn't much care.

Wallow for a bit without endangering your life or spilling your personal life to all. Call in sick at work, if you can. Stay in your sleepwear and watch cartoons. Eat some spareribs. Drink Chivas.

Whatever.

After a week, it's time to carry on. Let others know the situation, if you feel like it.

I would hope that you have one close friend or relative that you can confide in, but for the most part you should keep it to yourself.

-Easy

I cry, call people at 3 o'cloock in the morning to tell them stories of how it 'used to be'. I'll wear his clothes and go out and buy the same cologne to spray on my pillow at night. I'll go to all the places we went and reminisce. I'll look at the same pictures for hours, day in day out. I'll think of all the firsts and all the lasts. And the conversations, all the vacations. Then I'll walk by his house around the time he gets home so I 'accidently' bump into him. "Oh, I was just on my way to the store".

Then I'll sob some more. There's nothing better than walking down a busy street with tears streaming down your face and snot pouring from your nose. Also the redness and screwed up face add to the effect. If it's raining, it's even better. Then you hear that song, "Love Hurts" in the backround and you throw yourself dramatically...

..uh nevermind.

well, I hold it in around everyone, I don't cry in front of friends, family, strangers... anyone. On occasions that I have spilled my feelings I have grown to regret it.

BUT in front of the heart-breaker I let it go, the one who has hurt me is often the only one I feel comfortable showing my pain around. Why? Dunno, probably because I don't have to explain why I'm hurting, and they already know about it anyway.

*edit: I just remembered, a few weeks ago something happened that damn near broke me in two, I couldn't go home, I was in a park, so I sat down in a secluded spot and curled up and cried my eyes out... then some guys came along and I guess kiwis are just more friendly than I'm used to because they actually stopped and asked me what was wrong, very embarrassing especially when you consider that I am not at all attractive when I cry. How they could even tell I was upset I will never know, but lord I wanted to dig a hole and crawl in. :P

[This message has been edited by Sarcophagus (edited 08-26-2003).]

Personally, I hate holding it in, but I can if I have to. Something really bad happened to me last week; I talked to a couple friends about it (not expecting sympathy, but because I feel like I have things at least organized if I can talk it out), and also posted here on totse. I can hold it in if I want to, but I also don't like to, so I chose to talk it out instead. As for totse; Eyesore was a cocksucker about it, but the other responders were helpful. My friends; well, they're alright too, but more the "just suck it up, damnit" type, nothing wrong with that, because I'm the same way sometimes

-Infrared

I just briefly wallow in it. Talk to one of my close friends/ father about it, and then shrug it off and move on with my day. It doesn't take me long to get through the grieving process, 10 minutes tops and I'll be done.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Eyesore was a cocksucker about it, but the other responders were helpful.

yea... when i get depressed i kind of take it out on everyone else... sorry bout that. im a bitch, i know.

other than that, i have a few friends that i can talk to, but usually don't. depending on who i'm heartbroken over, i'll talk to one of our mutual friends who can give me a little insight on what they were thinking, etc. sometimes if im upset, i usually just hold it in until i have a chance to make something of it. write a song, poem, etc. i try not to cry, sometimes i do. luckily, it takes a lot to get me depressed.

Eyesore, I'll quit giving you shit now. I understand how it goes. I'm just the grudge-holding type (even online).

-Infrared

Don't be a baby....hahah jk. Well I think maybe if you tell someONE about it, it'll help it go away faster. Call me 555-7654.

I'm a good listener.

Getting back to the original post...

let it out in the form of anger on some inanimate object...a baseball bat does wonders.

Some inanimate obhects might include:

-Stuffed animals

-Expensive electronic equipment

-Anything inside wal-mart (they even have the baseball bat)

-Someone's car

...and some animate objects you might wanna concider:

-Clowns

-Mimes

I hold it in when i am around the person who broke my heart. (GOD HES A FUCKING ASS HOLE) i make it appear to him that nothing happened and that i am better than i ever was, when in truth i'm dying inside.(Especially watching him sucking off another girls face)And i probably woulda held it from everyone and just let it eat at me to the point of severe depression if i didnt have that one good friend to talk to. My advise, hold it in enough, but dont hold it in forever...you have to talk about it with someone.

lol and a comment on what Ganker said...about the cars...my friend had her heart broken...and she had a bunch of her guy friends go and piss on the guys car! haha it was white too! god that was a funny day.

Much Luck

Nyky

it feels bad and all but i don't show it...until the bottle overflows and i go and hit brick walls and make my knuckles even bigger and bonier than they were before!

normally i just sit in my room and i'll be pissed off and sad...but in public i'll pretend not to care!