Just curious what guys in general like more- the girly girls, or the independant girls?

girly girl = asks you to carry everything, goes to a salon regularly, asks you questions and leans on you a lot. Likes to be taken care of.

independant girls = know a lot of things about tools and electronics, ask a few questions, but to learn about it, not just talk. Wants to be able to keep up in anything you do, and gets frustrated when you step in to help too soon.

I have just been dumbfounded by a friend of my bf who said I was too much like a guy for his tastes- because I didn't ask Ryan to help me move, and had my own power tools to refinish a dresser I bought for cheap. Do most guys, or even a decent percentage of guys, want a girl who looks to him to do the hard stuff?

I always figured it would be a drag to have this person look to you for everything.

Independent all the way.

i don't want to put up with a sissy, but i don't like girls that are 100% independant. it's a tough call, but i'm challenging myself to find a smart blonde. i mean, where i live, there are blondes (stereo-typical ones), then there are stupid blondes (rather not get into that). if i found a smart blonde, i'd be happy. then again, i prefer girls with dark hair for some odd reason.. but that's just me

Shalakai

Where's my fuckin' cookie?!

But...but...can't "independent girls" go to a salon regularly? I don't mind getting dirt under manicured fingernails. It washes off. But I know whatcha mean Isabel.

meh, i like both

This opinion is not going to be popular, but I think it should be posted anyways. We all like to think independent women are better. It is PC and we are “enlightened.” Before that was an issue, it was a classic seduction tactic for a woman to play helpless and allow a man to rescue her. Now they are taught that that degrades them and they should not have to do it. I am not commenting on the “should” issue here, but on the practical issue. That tactic works, and works well, regardless if a guy thinks he is enlightened or not. There is a primal instinct in men that wants to rescue the damsel in distress. If we are changing a girl’s tire or something, we tend to feel like a hero as opposed to thinking that this girl is lame compared to so-n-so who can change it herself. As much as we consciously admire women who are independent, unconsciously the opportunity to be the man makes us feel good. Even if you are independent, you may get better mileage if you don’t beat your guy at everything, and he can help you with some things that you cannot do yourself. You can ignore that on principle if you choose, but the underlying instincts will still exist.

-Easy

^yep, I was afraid of this. I know it's true. That's why I decided I'm better off with a guy who actually is smarter than me, not one I have to "dumb myself down" around.

Independent, if I want a counterpart in life (not as in who I'd like to fuck, thats a completely different matter) she has to be equal to me, not some dumb bitch that relies on me for everything.

Shadow,

I am not trying to argue with you, but just out of curiosity, how would you feel if your wife had 20-30 IQ points on you and made twice as much money? Personally, I'd like to think I'd be able to be fine with it, but I'm not so sure I would be.

-Easy

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

Shadow,

I am not trying to argue with you, but just out of curiosity, how would you feel if your wife had 20-30 IQ points on you and made twice as much money? Personally, I'd like to think I'd be able to be fine with it, but I'm not so sure I would be.

-Easy

I'd be happy, if she shared the wealth and we had sex regularly.

If a woman wants to work, all the more power to her. It'll allow us to afford better stuff.

Okay, then how do you think your wife would feel in that situation? I think men are better equipped to "look that far down" on the opposite sex.

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

Okay, then how do you think your wife would feel in that situation? I think men are better equipped to "look that far down" on the opposite sex.



I think she'd probably be glad to have a higher credit limit.

Fucking yentas.

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

Shadow,

I am not trying to argue with you, but just out of curiosity, how would you feel if your wife had 20-30 IQ points on you and made twice as much money? Personally, I'd like to think I'd be able to be fine with it, but I'm not so sure I would be.

-Easy



ha, good point, but I've yet to meet a girl smarter than me in real life (not saying thye don't exist, just that I haven't meet them if they do)

As with most things, something in between is best. It's annoying if she can't take care of herself, but at the same time, it is fun to be the hero now and then.

Also, I think women in general tend to be attracted to men with something to offer them. So chances are, if your wife has 20 IQ points on you and makes a lot more money, she may get bored with you and go look for a better man specimen.

I've always been really independant, and like you said very familiar with power tools, computers, and muscle stuff too. I'm also a tomboy.

In the past serious relationships the guys would occasionally moan about me not accepting help very easily, but I think they appreciated my knowledge and participation in activities that they also enjoyed (sports, hobbies, etc.)

But now I get the feeling sometimes that my current guy would really rather I be a big pussy... he acts as though I'm a clueless little girly sometimes, I even get the feeling sometimes that he is treating me like a child. Hasn't always been this way, but for some reason I think he has started to feel like he can treat me like his past girlfriends. I understand from what he has said that they were a bit clueless and helpless and depended on him alot too, I'm absolutely nothing like them so who knows whats up.

I think that younger/less mature guys aren't as interested in tomboys/independant girls because they feel a bit threatened. Once they enter manhood they start seeing the benefits of having a woman around who can re-grout the bathroom floor and re-finish the furniture.

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

Shadow,

I am not trying to argue with you, but just out of curiosity, how would you feel if your wife had 20-30 IQ points on you and made twice as much money? Personally, I'd like to think I'd be able to be fine with it, but I'm not so sure I would be.

-Easy



You've presented very valid points, though I think women enjoy being the hero too, only in a different way.

I think regardless of "enlightenement" or "progress" that men and women will always have roles... and I don't think that our respective roles are degrading or something to be embarrassed of either. Men play the hero when a bottle lid is too tight, women play the hero when the men invite all their buddies over for entertainment and a full spread of goodies... there are many exceptions to this and I am by no means a supporter of archiac stereotyping...

I feel good when I get out of bed early to make Ben a coffee and help get his stuff ready for work.

He feels good when he gets out his drill to help me with a gardening project.

The key to any relationship is how two people compliment each other.

My mum is useless with finances, but she's GREAT when it comes to car repairs.

My dad on the other hand could be an accountant, but can't tell the difference between oil and transmission fluid.

My guy may have 20 IQ points on me, or I may have 20 on him, either way we compliment each other and are happy. People who whinge about their partner being "better" or "smarter" are really pathetic IMO, they should be overjoyed that they're worthwhile enough to find such a fine catch!

quote:Originally posted by Shadow88:



ha, good point, but I've yet to meet a girl smarter than me in real life (not saying they don't exist, just that I haven't meet them if they do)

haha! I know what you mean. I too am smarter than most of the people I know and have never really dated any woman that I considered smarter than me. But in college, I was on the debate team and I did flirt some with this girl from Harvard at some tournaments. She was on their "A-Team" and they were ranked in the top ten individual teams in the country. She got to finals a couple times in the biggest tournament of the year. In addition to all the work that took, she had a perfect 4.0, something that a lot of intelligent debaters could not pull off since debate took up so much time. AND, she did not miss a question on her LSATS, a feat that I hear is not done every year. In addition to all that, she kicked my ass the few times we debated.

I must say that my feelings talking to her were strange. I would not say I felt really intimidated or jealous or anything like that, but something was holding me back from making a move. Who knows, maybe I have grown past it since then.

-Easy





[This message has been edited by Easy Going (edited 08-26-2003).]

Independent for the most part, but who also looks up to you, and likes (and often expects) you to be the man; to take charge of something, fix something, make her feel special, etc. I'll be honest and say I do like girly-girlisms sometimes, but if that's all she is, I don't. She has to be able to get things done, to not back down in an argument, to be able to speak her mind and be secure about it, but also to appreciate (and not get huffy about, like a lot of feminazis nowadays) when I open the car door for her, hold the door, help her carry things, offer a second opinion, try to help if she looks like she's having difficulty with something, etc. It seems rather hard to find nowadays; it's either "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle!" or "I'm a depressive, sad emotional wreck with no self-esteem who needs someone to latch onto". Damn modernization.

-Infrared

I lean mostly towards independent, but not 100%. A relationship would get pretty boring if either of you is too independent.

i like em nice n tuff

i like a girl thats smart enough to talk to, but not smarter than me. it's a real macho ego killer when i girl is better than you at something. my girlfriend is a faster sprinter than me, better at tennis, and taller than me. i hate it.

then again, i don't want someone that i have to do everythoing for. i don't baby sit for a reason.

i like a happy median. not too dependant upon me, but still likes me to help her a little from time to time. it makes a guy feel very masculine when he can do something that his girlfriend can't.

^^ heheh, all the girls I've ever been with I've been smarter than them (at academic things, clothes and stuff I submit my ignorance), stronger and faster then them. I don't mind being the strong smart guy to lean on, but it kinda gets a little boring and makes me feel incontent when I feel I'll never find a girl who can err, 'match up to me'. I guess I have a bit of an inferiority complex though

EG beat me to it. A lot of guys are drawn into the mindset that smart, independant girls are cool and the ones you want to get with, then, upon hooking up with one, find that they're utterly unequipped to deal with such a partner.

That said, I find dependance to be the saddest personality trait imaginable. When someone, male or female, is capable of taking care of themselves, there's a certain spark about them which draws people in. For me, independance in a woman is not a preference, it's a necessity. Clingy people suck. I never want to be with someone who doesn't really want to be with me but won't say so because she just doesn't know what she'll do with herself once single.

Many men may not be "enlightened" enough to appreciate that type of woman yet, but it's a state of affairs worth trying to change.

quote:Originally posted by EyeSore:

then again, i don't want someone that i have to do everythoing for. i don't baby sit for a reason.



Aye, sometimes I still get that primeval urge to be strong and provide everything, but it gets pretty boring quickly,

I'd take a strong, independent girl anyday, for various reasons.

I like the fact that I don't have to worry about them as much, and that I can assume they'll take care of themselves.

I also like the fact it allows me to be a little bit submissive in the relationship, which I rather enjoy.

I like the fact she'll pay for herself.

I like independent girls.

I think this thread answer's your question Isabel ... don't change!

I like the think I can take care of my self, and I'm relatively independent, but I do appreciate doors being opened for me, being carried around (in a joking way), and it would make me uncomfortable if a guy I was with wasn't as strong as me (that may just be because I'm a weakling, in the physical sense.)

That's good that you guys can appreciate an independent girl, but it is a bit disturbing to know that you would be uncomfortable if a woman could completely take care of herself.

And all of you guys saying that you've never met women more intelligent than you, maybe you're giving yourself a bit too much credit. Unless you lived in a hole, it wouldn't be that hard to find someone smarter than you. (Don't take that as a personal insult- there's always someone smart than you in some aspect, no matter who you are.)

i never said i've never met a girl as smart as me. i said i've never dated one. i have a few friends who are just as smart as me, or pretty close to it. but im a smart guy... o well, my girlfriends best frined is just about as smart as i am, and it's great fun to debate with her, we're totally different with our outlooks. damn republican.

that had nothing to do with the topic.

My current girlfriend likes the colour pink, babies and cats, shes a vegetarian, shes uses words like wiv and dat, and extremely dependent and is very stereotypical.



My previous girlfriend liked fires + explosives, punk music, sports, etc, very independent and far more my type of girl.. but incidentally she was also dangerously suicidal and she cheated on me for 2 other guys (neither of them knew she was not single, so I guess it's not their fault).

Oh well...

quote:Originally posted by Shadow88:

I think this thread answer's your question Isabel ... don't change!

Well bless your heart for thinking I could. I dont have the dicipline to hold my tongue, let alone the desire.

The guy who said I was too independent was a friend of my bf- and not one that I care for too much. I have no problems asking for help opening the pickle jar, or handing him the heavier box while moving stuff. Hell, I loaded his ass down as much as I could so we could make fiewer trips. But he offered, and I made sure he didn't spend his entire weekend doing my shit for me. He needed some time off. And this guy for some reason thought that I couldn't (shouldn't?) handle a sander.

and for the record- any guy who takes it as his job to automatically squish all spiders within my presence are irreplaceable and valued heros.

quote:Originally posted by Isabel:

and for the record- any guy who takes it as his job to automatically squish all spiders within my presence are irreplaceable and valued heros.

well.... there goes my heroship. again, i think i may have invented that word, but nonetheless, i hate spiders. more than i hate girls. *shudder*

I hate spiders too.. of all the things I could have been scared of, why did it have to be spiders

aw...can you open pickle jars? I like pickles...

I will extend heroship to those guys who can open jars of pickles... and cherries also.

And kill other creepy things, along with spiders. Not ladybugs tho. They are cute, and under my protection as the only six legged cute thing in existence.

pickle jars i can do.... other bugs, no problem. spiders, they just get to me....

^^ exactly

quote:Originally posted by EyeSore:

i like a girl thats smart enough to talk to, but not smarter than me. it's a real macho ego killer when i girl is better than you at something. my girlfriend is a faster sprinter than me, better at tennis, and taller than me. i hate it.

then again, i don't want someone that i have to do everythoing for. i don't baby sit for a reason.

i like a happy median. not too dependant upon me, but still likes me to help her a little from time to time. it makes a guy feel very masculine when he can do something that his girlfriend can't.

Hit the nail on the head there. I dont have to write much now

Tight lids on jars and other things I do damn well, if I may say. Strong hands.

And my boots are perfect for bug-squishing, although I have a slight aversion to the crunchy ones (but it doesn't stop me).

Okay, I was bored.

-Infrared

i like a mixture...

i like the girl to be able to do things for herself and not whine to me about things but i also like to be needed for other stuff.

that's about all i have to say about that!

quote:Originally posted by shalakai:

Where's my fuckin' cookie?!

beeshnu77 will be glad to make you one. (http://www.totse.com/bbs/Forum4/HTML/004175.html)

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

^yep, I was afraid of this. I know it's true. That's why I decided I'm better off with a guy who actually is smarter than me, not one I have to "dumb myself down" around.

I'm smarter than you! let's have sex!

sorry, but when was i going to get the chance to say that again? anyways yeah i prefer women as smart as me but not bitches about stuff.

I'm one of those people who can't stand people who are ALOT* dumber than them. There is this girl i know, lets call her jennifer. I say lets call her jennifer because we want to call her by her name, as is the custom.

She is the dumbest person scince my mother and father. I think she is gorgeous, but, she is incredibly dumb. A few people are prolly creaming their pants in anticipation to say OH MAN FA'AD YOU SHOULD GET HER IN THE SACK!

How would you like a big ass heaping bowl of no?

That would be like molesting an 8 year old and telling her "SHHH, It's a secret game!" disgusting. bangbus is shit. and fake. It's like wrestling, entertainment for assholes.

Back to topic. I can't stand stupid people but if she was smarter than me she would mouth off and be a total bitch. end of story. however It's cool to have someone that is just like you. Please dont reply to this post, I don't want to have to correct your reply.

"Bah Humbug!"-Fa'ad

quote:Originally posted by Shadow88:

My current girlfriend likes the colour pink, babies and cats, shes a vegetarian, shes uses words like wiv and dat, and extremely dependent and is very stereotypical.



My previous girlfriend liked fires + explosives, punk music, sports, etc, very independent and far more my type of girl.. but incidentally she was also dangerously suicidal and she cheated on me for 2 other guys (neither of them knew she was not single, so I guess it's not their fault).

Oh well...

OH my god dude i almost had a stroke when i read about your current GF. oh my god i have to catch my breath. *panting* hh hhh hhh hh pfffft (that last one was a fart)

dude WIV and DAT? see this is what i was talking about when i said i can't stand stupid people. The vegetarian thing isn't that bad though. I wouldn't mind it at all.

But then again as everyone on totse knows, that problem wouldn't present itself in the first place because girls don't like me and i look ugly and shitty.

Don't reply to this saying you're just a lil kid you're having a bad puberty.

No, asshole. I'm not like the rest. People really don't like me. >

quote:Originally posted by Isabel:

aw...can you open pickle jars? I like pickles...

I will extend heroship to those guys who can open jars of pickles... and cherries also.

And kill other creepy things, along with spiders. Not ladybugs tho. They are cute, and under my protection as the only six legged cute thing in existence.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

no seriously don't reply and say oh hun you are all mad over nothing. I guess no one told you that you can't protect species of bugs or give them titles. You cant give heroship no one gives a shit about LADYbugs.

seriously, what the hell are you talking about?

I'd love for you to explain why you can do the above things and not sound like a complete ass.

"I'm too mad to reply."-Fa'ad

quote:Originally posted by fa'ad:

Don't reply to this saying you're just a lil kid you're having a bad puberty.

No, asshole. I'm not like the rest. People really don't like me. >

I'm starting to not like you. Be nice to all the nice people here, okay? We can't see how ugly you are so maybe you can make some friends if you don't act ugly here.

If you can stick up for the bugs, put some of those emotions into your human relationships too.

-Easy

PS This is in responce to your last 3 posts in this thread.

Fa'ad, do you feel compelled to be an irrational asshole just because you're ugly or something? People will most definitely like you if you stop acting like a cock and nitpicking over little things. Relax, lighten up, and for fuck's sake, stop posting so much.

-Infrared

quote:Originally posted by fa'ad:

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

no seriously don't reply and say oh hun you are all mad over nothing. I guess no one told you that you can't protect species of bugs or give them titles. You cant give heroship no one gives a shit about LADYbugs.

seriously, what the hell are you talking about?

I'd love for you to explain why you can do the above things and not sound like a complete ass.

"I'm too mad to reply."-Fa'ad

first off- I dont use the word "hun". And if you read everyone, it was a kinda joke, and completely not serious.

But if you want to kill it, disect it, and burry its parts: Eyesore and some others were talking about likeing the feeling of being useful, and thier girls hero. I was simply saying it takes very little for me to appreciate a guy and feel like I am being taken care of.

as for the ladybug thing, I am partial to them. They dont warrant squishing to me. How does that make me an ass?

Oh no! Don't kill the ladybugs! Tee Hee!!!!! Love, Kikey.

quote:Originally posted by Kikey_Kikeowitz:

Oh no! Don't kill the ladybugs! Tee Hee!!!!! Love, Kikey.

lol, PP, is that you?

quote:Originally posted by fa'ad:

OH my god dude i almost had a stroke when i read about your current GF. oh my god i have to catch my breath. *panting* hh hhh hhh hh pfffft (that last one was a fart)

dude WIV and DAT? see this is what i was talking about when i said i can't stand stupid people. The vegetarian thing isn't that bad though. I wouldn't mind it at all.



Normally I wouldn't mind vegetarians, but shes skinny as fuck. Everybody thinks she anoxeric, and I've never seen her eat.. even when we went to Pizza Hut

fa'ad, you are begining to get bothersome. you need a good clubbing. like a baby seal.

i hate 14 year olds more than i hate girls.

50/50 split is just rite, i find them to be really playful. which is always fun

Independent i like a girl that can do things for herself.

HIT BONGS NOT KITTENS

quote:Originally posted by EyeSore:

i hate 14 year olds more than i hate girls.

<slaps eyesore with a glove>

Apologize for that remark!

quote:you need a good clubbing. like a baby seal.

[/B]

I love baby seals....they taste like chicken

Damn. I feel like I should go crawl into a hole now, as I'm clearly the biggest girly girl on totse and you guys all hate chicks like me. You all don't like to carry a girl's books? I have guys carry ME. I spend at least 5 minutes picking out my clothes in the morning, I wear makeup, I play helpless all the time, and I don't order food in restaraunts (but that's more of a phobia than a girlism).

On the other hand, a lot of what I do is laziness in disguise and I would never make a boyfriend carry me to class. I reserve that for friends and acquaintences. I think a lot of you might just be dumb and not realize what girly girls are really about. It's not like we can't take care of ourselves; it's just that we would rather have some dumb guy do it for us. Kind of like if you're dumb enough to do what I say just because I have tits, you deserve what you get.

And on an unrelated note, don't squish bugs! Take them outside. Don't just kill them because they're in your house. They don't know any better.

quote:Originally posted by GlitterPunk112358:

I think a lot of you might just be dumb and not realize what girly girls are really about. It's not like we can't take care of ourselves; it's just that we would rather have some dumb guy do it for us. Kind of like if you're dumb enough to do what I say just because I have tits, you deserve what you get.

I'd say that suggests we're pretty clued in to the girly girl M.O. I'd much rather be the guy who's not doing something for a girl just because she has tits, especially if she's conscious of the fact that makes me an idiot.

It should be noted that while technically all people are capable of taking care of themselves, many try to find a partner in large part because they don't feel they can take care of themselves. You may just be lazy, but it causes some great stress to be alone because they don't know what to do with themselves.

quote:Originally posted by Shadow88:

<slaps eyesore with a glove>

Apologize for that remark!



haha... nahh, just give it a few years and you'll see what i mean.