It should first be said, that even on this forum, I feel really uncomfortable mentioning this, because its worrying me quite a bit for multiple reasons, and I'd rather not think about it/deal with it. Also, as I type this, I'm in an incredible amount of physical pain, so please bear with me if it comes off as very rambling.

Ok. So... I've very recently become involved with this girl. Don't stop reading. I'm giving background. She's really, really into me, and to say the least, the feeling is mutual. More background. I'm a virgin. She's not. The only girl I've ever had any sort of relationship with was a virgin, and she was very very uptight about sex. Please understand. I'm not complaining about that, but as it stands I have no sexual experience. I've never given or received oral sex (up until about 48 hours ago), and never had sex (duh). I've also suffered from chrnoic depression for most of my life. I was also raised strict Catholic, so sex is a very difficult thing for me. From the time I was 14, to about when I was 17 I was also very very unsure about my sexuality. I've never let anybody know that. If this wasn't anoynomous, I wouldn't even consider mentioning that or several other things. I'm pretty sure I'm not gay, but... well, its something thats popped into my head again because of this. Yes, I am pretty sure that I'm attracted to her, and no, I can get it up just fine.

Trailed of there for a minute. Shes a very sexual person. I am not.

Here's where the problem comes in. All three time's we've hooked up, she's ended up going down on me, but I haven't been able to cum. Now, I know that most of you are thinking that I'm probably just nervous. That's what I thought until tonight, because up until tonight I've been extremely nervous. I don't think I've ever felt as comfortable with someone as I did with her tonight... but still nothing.

As for the pain, well, she IS a little rough, but I can deal with that. Tonight, however, my balls are killing me. The pain was constant but very slight during the whole... thing. Most of the time, I felt like I was going to cum soon, but I just couldn't. I'm not even sure if I had to cum. I came home, and the first thing I did was take the most painful piss of my life.

Once, again I apoligize for the incoherency of this thread. I'm in sort of a shitty place right now (not just because of something as trivial as this) and my mind is sort of all over the place.

If anybody has any ideas based on the messy bits of information I threw forth above, please offer some advice.

Thanks to anybody who can help at all.

::After re-reading that, I realize how messy and non-sensical most of that must seem, but I'm too tired and too miserable to go over it, so I'm leaving it as is. If you're really confused, just consider me drunk and leave it be.::

[This message has been edited by jack's missing mind (edited 08-22-2003).]

you appear to have what experts call "blue balls". this happens when you get really horny, start going at it, and stop before you orgasm. sucks doesn't it? my girlfriend used to do it to me whenever she got mad at me.

the cure, simple. get off. you'll have a huge load, still be a little sore, but it'll go away in like half an hour.

as for not being able to get off from head, could be many reasons. lots of guys get this. you could be trying to hard, or trying to force yourself to finish, which doesn't work. you just need to let it happen. you could be breathing to heavy, hyperventilating yourself, this could stop you from cumming. she might not be good at head, this could also be the case.

just keep trying, and eventually it'll happen. good luck with the balls.

See, at first I thought it might just be blue balls too, but it was there even before she stopped. It wasn't as severe as afterwards, but it was there.

Yes my friend, you have blue balls. That happens to the best of us. Well lemme give you an example. My wife and I were going at it just the other morning and we had underestimated the time we would take to be done with it. Anyway...the kids had to be walked down to the bus stop. So here I go walking out the bedroom door (hunched over a bit) and walk the kids about a half a block away. The feeling started to come over me as I stood there waiting for the kids to get on that freaking bus. So I hobbled back to the house and quickly got back and eventually finished what I had started. Sometimes you don't even have to actually start, like if your imagination is really good and you're waiting for her to get there....thinking. hahahhah then you may start to feel it too. But!!! if you think that it is not the reason...see a doctor!!!

[This message has been edited by LwaysTired (edited 08-22-2003).]

Clear the tubes! You'll feel better.

I think guilt is playing a part in your not being able to orgasm. I'm not going to get into what I think of religion but you should really not let it get in the way of you enjoying yourself exually, with your girl. As soon as you accept that you're a sexual human being and sex isn't bad, you'll be able to enjoy it. God isn't going to strike you dead if you have sex. Otherwise I'd be killed 1 and a bunh of 0s over.

Are you on any meds for your depression? That could be preventing you from reaching orgasm as well. (Paxil is horrible). Switch to a different med if you think this is the case. (I suggest Zoloft). Eh, just my opinion, your doc will be the best to decide that though.

Anyway, maybe your sexual side just needs to be brought out, a little pushing and encouragement and soon you'll be fucking like EyeSore and Infrared! (Ok maybe that's going a little too far).

You just gotta go with the flow. Feel the moment instead of writing your confession in your head while she's down there, ya know?

Breathe in , breathe out, breathe...

See a doctor.

rofl that is absolutely... positivley 100% gen-yoo-wine blue balls

next time shoot in her mouth man

blue balls...your nuts have been working over-time and then stop...you got a big wad waiting to come out so whack it off and get rid of it...the pain will go in a while.

i know what you mean with oral sex...i have NEVER cum whilst getting a blowjob...ever.

just have loosen up and try to get some of the old horizontal dancing going on mate...that'll sort you out!

Don't worry, man. There's nothing wrong with you, you're just overthinking it. I assume you've done your share of masturbating, right? A lot of guys can't orgasm solely from oral action because of it, at least at first. Like psycho said, get the horizontal happiness rockin, or if that's too much for now, try and get her to use her hand some. That fixes the problem for damn near everyone.

You'll be fine.

you crazy catholics...

loosen up

Hey... Im Catholic and I have no problem with my sexuality so stop sterotyping. I take that very personally.

Catholics are the most hedonistic of all Christians. No doubt.

You ever been to a Chrisitan youth camp> Never have myself, but I hear they're straight up orgies(at least with the kids that are 13 and up.)

Im catholic and I have no problem when I got a blow job.My advice to you is just relax while she is going down on you and just enjoy the goodness of her tounge.Then if she is jerking while she is blowing that might help you cum as well.

Blueballs. It's been said. It's been said again. And it's been said again. I'm just gratefuly I don't get that (lucky me, I don't end up in pain).

As for not getting off... You may have thought you were relaxed. Hell, you probably were compared to previously. But untill you can shut off your brain, stop thinking, and just feel, you are not fully relaxed. It may take a while, but you'll get there. You can't throw off a lifetime of brainwashing in just a few days.

As for the gay thing, don't worry about it. A lot of people question their sexuality (though they won't admit it). Just don't let society tell you it's wrong. If it was so wrong the Supreme Court wouldn't have said anything about it.