Okay, so lets get this straight, I think he is damn sexy. ALL of him. Especially his chest. There is something very sexy about a guys chest, and I dont know why, but its there.

He hates his chest. He hates it so much that he never takes off his shirt when we are having sex. He thinks its too thin, too pale, etc. I have told him I like it, and he doesn't seem to believe me.

He doesn't seem to believe me on any compliment I give him. No matter what it deals with, he just shrugs it off. Its starting to really bother me. I want him to be happy.

I would let him have his insecurities, I think, if it wern't for the fact that he doesn't let me have mine. I think a few of you know I lost a lot of weight this year- close to 50lbs. While my tummy is flatter, I can still see stretch marks that I am hoping will go away with time on my sides. I hate the way they look, and I really was uncomfortable being completely naked and visible to him. But he likes to pull back the covers and just stare at me. If I can get over this, why cant he get over the chest thing?

'Make a deal'. Do something like "well I am not taking off my shirt/bra(w/e) unless you take off your shirt".



Shek

That's not a bad idea. He obviously knows that it's important to throw insecurities in the trash heap, but if words won't help him past his own, more drastic measures need to be taken. This is potentially a very good one.

How about you make him acquiesce - tear that goddamned shirt off. Even if he whines or gets mad - do it. You tear that shirt off, then bite his nipples, lick all over his chest, crush your breasts against it, whatever you do. Go wild. I guarantee you he isn't going to stop you. The only thing he could do is accuse you of faking it or something, in which case he's just a pussy. Excuse me for that, but be realistic - if it goes that far, he's just an insecure shell. But, I don't think you need to worry about that, if you try what I described.

-Infrared

quote:Originally posted by Isabel:

I can still see stretch marks

try cocoa butter on those.

as for the shirt thing, infared has a really good idea. just make him. tell him you won't put out until he takes it off. this however might backfire.

try some positive reinforcement. reward him for every peice of clothing he takes off. when he takes off his shoes, kiss him. when he takes off his pants, touch him, but not any further. when he takes off his shirt, give him a bj. have fun with it.

Positive reinforcement is probably your best bet. A definate psychological approach.

quote:Originally posted by EyeSore:



as for the shirt thing, infared has a really good idea. just make him. tell him you won't put out until he takes it off. this however might backfire. B]

No, no, no: Don't tell him you "won't put out until he takes it off", because it will backfire. Instead, become a wild animal, Isabel - like I said, tear that fucking shirt off, shove him down, climb on top of him, bite his nipples and run your tongue all over his chest. Not teasingly or slowly either (this time); you want him to know you want him NOW, and he'd better give in. Again, I can 99% guarantee you he's not going to stop you and whine or get mad because his chest is exposed, he's going to give you what you want (or rather, let you take what you want). Speaking as a man who's had little insecurities before, and has experienced that from a woman, I can tell you I sure as fuck wouldn't be stopping you.

If by some chance he does, then it might run a little deeper than just bodily insecurity. Talk it out

-Infrared

Suprise him in the shower. There is no way he'll stop you.

Have you tried to talk about this problem with him?

Try to get him to work out, even just a little improvement will make hime feel better. When my pecs and abs started coming out, I went and swam and lot so I got tan, now I only wear a shirt if I have to.

quote:Originally posted by DJ_Valto:

Have you tried to talk about this problem with him?



Yes. Several times. He just keeps saying he is uncomfortable with it, and joking about how he doesn't want to blind me with reflecting light.

Surprise him in the shower...*remembers shower fantasy* mmmm... would be fun, but it doesn't fix the problem. We have had sex with his shirt off before, when I surprised him, or jumped him while he was getting ready for work or class. Its just when we are together and we are both already dressed, he wont take it off. But I do agree the make a deal thing would be bad. He would prolly get mad at me and I would end up fully clothed and making a bed for him on the couch.

now, i don't feel awkward or whatever sayin' this kinda crap, so here goes me

everyone on the face of this earth has insecurities and phobias. it don't matter who you are, you will have those problems. myself, personally, i have a very very harsh fear of heights. but that's beside the point. if this guy is afraid to show himself, then you shouldn't have to. i mean, honestly, very few guys are afraid to show off their build, but there are the odd occasions. what i suggest you do (this was actually done, it's pretty nifty) is you get him a bunch of shirts that tear VERY easily. then, when he doesn't notice, slowly tear it off. then again, i'm guessin' this guy is strong, and there's a chance he might freak out and give you a good smack... for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction. see what works and what doesn't, that's my motto

Shalakai

i've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, diddily-dee, there they are standing in a row... coconuts can stand? what the hell is in this here pipe?!

Threaten him with scissors. Either he takes it off or you cut it off. Yeah, violence. Mm..

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

How about you make him acquiesce - tear that goddamned shirt off. Even if he whines or gets mad - do it. You tear that shirt off, then bite his nipples, lick all over his chest, crush your breasts against it, whatever you do. Go wild. I guarantee you he isn't going to stop you. The only thing he could do is accuse you of faking it or something, in which case he's just a pussy. Excuse me for that, but be realistic - if it goes that far, he's just an insecure shell. But, I don't think you need to worry about that, if you try what I described.

-Infrared



Agreed. It will probably be the best sex you ever had.

I suppose I didn't think that one through enough; after you try what I described (if you choose to), try in the coming days/weeks/month to get him to take his shirt off, because you "don't want to have to rip it off again", or something of the like. You're a woman - doubtless you know how to make it sexy, so try it. And if he refuses again, "rape" him again. Like I said, he'll stop caring about "blinding you with reflected light" (I take that to mean he's either Irish-pale or oily) when you're digging your nails into his back and running your tongue all over his chest. Keep at it; it could take a little time, but you'll get him over that. He may continue joking about it, but I bet you he'll take it off when you ask him to, and probably often not.

Humans are all Pavlovian dogs inside, and we can all be conditioned by stimuli. Soon, he'll take his shirt off because he'll be anticipating more wild, hot sex; hence, "conditioned". Good luck. And by no means is this an attempt to reduce sex to a science, but certain things do apply.

-Infrared, talking too much again