I've gone through a drastic change in my life, this change was followed immediately by a depression that was over with in a few months. The reason i became depressed, is i think, the same reason i find myself unhappy most of the time (unhappy and depressed in my book are not the same thing, depressed is more not caring, despair, and a feeling of numb, unhappy is just that, the knowledge that one's self isn't happy). For some reason, when i changed, a feeling of being alone was always accompanying me. I've linked that feeling to my depression/unhapiness. The change i went through was more like a total transformation. The things i once seemed to like, suddenly sickened me, the people i once seemed to know, suddenly seemed gone. I want someone whom i have never seen, i think this is a problem with many. The person i want is the intellectual type and being at the young age i am i can't seem to find that person. there are more things that i want in that person, but i don't feel like going into them. so i have two questions.

1. How do you suggest i help myself cope with

loneliness?

2. Should i just start dating the kind of people i wouldn't usually, just to stop feeling alone and to improve my chances of finding someone or should i just wait until that person comes into my life?

thanks for listening to my rant. i just had to get that off my chest.

Live, deal. Accept that you are lonely...Dont just date someone..look for the one you'll be happy with or you'll just feel more lonely and hate everyone more. *Sigh* It really is crap feelign like that...trying to find someone who can hold a conversation with other than alcohol or the newest/blah blah etc. Find the girls taht are like you...that interest you. I went to a party on the weekend met a couple of girls I'd talked to a lot but never seen, had the best time Id ahd in a while, just chatting with them. Look, see, find. But dont force an answer...let it find you. Well that's my Idea anyway...

Don't ever get seriously involved with someone you don't like. Not only will you only be marginally happy at best, no matter how much they like you, but if you're a halfway decent person, you'll either feel awful breaking up with them when someone you do like comes around (bad) or won't be able to dump them at all (worse).

Single dates, for the purpose of trying to get to know someone better, are ok. Just be sure to cut it off quickly if nothing about them really interests you, otherwise mass confusion occurs. But, this way, you at least give someone a chance to surprise you.

Everyone has to deal with being lonely in their own way. The one piece of advice that works for pretty much everyone is this: Don't ever start thinking it's your fault that you're alone. Some people need to consider ways to improve themselves in appearance, personality, or what have you, but that doesn't make it their fault. It only becomes their fault if they refuse to fix those things due to some misguided hubris that makes them think they're better than everyone else.

The simple fact is that no one is better or worse than you. We're all different, no more, no less, and what makes you different simply hasn't drawn many people to you. That's the way it goes when you're younger. Even though it may be the most difficult time to stay the course and be true to yourself, it's also when doing just that is most important. It never hurts to work on your appearance and personality a little, but always do so with an eye towards your core self and basing everything around that.

That brings up the last bit- your apparent changes. It's what's generally referred to as growing up, also known as maturing. Everyone goes through it at some point. If you don't like the things you once did, find other things to do. It's unnerving to come to a realization like you did at first, but if you can accept the fact you've changed and focus on finding the things which will appeal to the new you, you'll be fine.

1) don't become the type of person that needs people to function...trust me when i say you'll be lonelier than ever when they aren't around.

2) cruise through life...look after yourself, study, do well in school, etc, etc. get the important things out of the way first, then worry about finding that special someone.

that's what i did...i was in depression for months. the pills i was on took their effect and i realised that the root of my depression was from needing people and needing women liking me.

when i realised i didn't need anyone but myself i got things done quicker and more efficiently without thinking of anything else.

trust me it's a better way to do things mate!

thanks for the advice, i'll think i'll use it.

I would suggest not to put your stock for personal happiness and fulfillment in the praise and acknowledgement of others. Few people have the ability to appreciate or perceive what one values who is on the path towards self awareness and discovery. It seems the Work lies within and only without in reflection.

"You will see how absurd is the whole structure that you have built,

looking for external help,

depending on others for your comfort, for your happiness, for your strength.

These can only be found within yourselves."

- J. Krishnamurti