Is this possible? At a party this weekend, a friend said she thought her relationship with her fiance was perfect because, "We have a lot of similarities, but we have enough differences to keep things interesting." I countered that if two people who are damn near the same get bored with each other, it's their own fault for being boring. Just because a relationship doesn't create its own drama through personality clashes doesn't mean it has to settle in the doldrums of stagnancy. Get off your asses and do something you both like.

She wound up agreeing with me, but since I've never seen this mentioned, I figured I'd throw it out for debate.

I agree with you Spiffy

Agreed, not having any differences between one another will get BUH_RING.

quote:Originally posted by DarkFire47:

Agreed, not having any differences between one another will get BUH_RING.

Er... then what are you agreeing with? It's not me. I said having a lot of similarities only gets boring if you don't do anything with them, to take the place of the conflict you're (thankfully) missing out on.

Realistically, though, no couple will ever have everything in common. There will always be personality differences. The question is whether or not those arise when dealing with major beliefs or relationship issues, or if it's all piddly little shit neither one cares about that much, and how the two handle it.

I agree with spiffy to an extent. I agree with what you are saying but am not sure if you are saying that differences are bad? I don't think that is what you were implying and I don't want to put words in your mouth but could you elaborate on that some more. What I got from that is you should be able to keep a healthy, exciting relationship wether you are opposites or just alike. If you have to rely on the differences to keep it exciting then that is a problem.

Take Care,

Kangy

You more or less got it, Kangy. Having differences isn't bad, it's how they're handled that determines a relationship's success. The same could be said of a lack of differences.

It's said that couples fight, it's to be expected, and to an extent that's true.. but while those situations can sometimes lead to a greater understanding between the people involved, it can also start picking at the seams of their relationship. No two people are precisely alike, but to say that a certain amount of difference between the two is necessary because boredom will otherwise ensue seems absurd.

but the differences ARE what keeps it interesting. the differences between people give them topics of conversation. the defferences keep them on their toes. i think at least a few items of debate are needed, otherwise youy could slip into a coma from lack of mental stimulation with your partener. i dated someone who was just like me in almost every way (not quite though) and it was like torture after two months. not because we're boring people, but because we were so alike that we never had anything to talk about because we agreed on everything.

Some common ground is needed, I'd think, to sustain the relationship.

This post made me think of my relationship and what our interests are. The things we like to do and our hobbies are different but we have the same outlook on things. We've both broadened each other's horizons, he taught me how to throw a football, I taught him how to meditate. We've brought each other's worlds together and because of him I've done things I know I wouldn't have ever thought of doing.

Spiffy, I agree with you, in a sense. I think personalities have to be somewhat compatible and alike. But interests can be all different. If you get along with the person well enough, you'll be comfortable trying things they like to do.

if you have many differences, the reason it works is because you compensate for eachother's imperfections, but slowly you'll both improve and at some point .. it won't work anymore cause you don't need eachother...

I feel Spiffy has a point but I dont agree, if the relationship is held together by differences or similarities your heading to a dead end.

i think spiffy is a complete tosser and is jelous of the relationship....jus coz hes an ugly cunt!

http://www.sportsbrampton.com/images/rugby/rival/ugly.gif (http://www.sportsbrampton.com/images/rugby/rival/ugly.gif)

well, fmpov, if 2 people are absolutely the same, they will not have the same life, so if they have a different opinion because they had local influences the other one hadn´t, they´ll end up in a very disappointed situation and maybe in a very hard fight.

quote:Originally posted by luketalbot99:

i think spiffy is a complete tosser and is jelous of the relationship....jus coz hes an ugly cunt!

http://www.sportsbrampton.com/images/rugby/rival/ugly.gif (http://www.sportsbrampton.com/images/rugby/rival/ugly.gif)

You are the meanest bitch on totse... What is wrong with you? Did you not get enough love as a child? GRRRRR you make me

~TIM~

Tadgh don't let him get to you. Just laugh at how childish he is. For the most part I ignore him but sometimes it is fun to fuck with him but just don't let him piss you off that is what he wants.

p.s. edit the image tag of his out of your reply so we don't have to see that stupid ass pic twice.

Take Care,

Kangy

Dude, don't worry about it. He's not mean. He's an attention-starved little wanker who's just reaching puberty and realizing how incapable he'll ever be of pleasuring a woman, so he comes to this forum, stomping, ranting, and screaming, displaying his kiddy rage to the world, much like the lion cub who keeps nipping at his brethren.

As an aside, about the only interesting thing on the Discovery Channel is watching the mother lion bitchslap the cubs for being so stupid. Maybe he's afraid of his mother, because he knows that in real life, she'd beat his ass for acting this way. She's probably smaller than him, too, which makes it even more embarrassing, especially once he starts to cry. Or, maybe, she doesn't use any discipline on him at all, and deep down he's a submissive little twat who wants the world to beat him down so he can get his jollies.

Is that it, Luke? Are you a submissive little twat? Maybe we can use you as target practice. I've met a lot of people, and it's safe to say the rest of the world needs some work on their insults. Just sit back and watch the replies to your recently spewed tard-talk roll in. Don't post more; I'll just delete it. But I'm sure the hit squad in B&M will be more than happy to honor any request you have to be abused.

Well, Luke's ass is owned.

I thought I edited my post, but I see it's gone. Weird. Anywho, I had originally misunderstood your point, Spiffy, but now I get it.

Just in my experience, conflict leads to some amazing passion. But conflict also takes its toll and doesn't add up to a long term relationship.

I think similarities make the relationship stronger. How could it be dull? There will always be things to see/do/plan that are agreeable to both. Then you get to this level of understanding where you finish each other's sentences, anticipate each other's desires, and reach that blessed perfect relationship threshold some of us have yet to cross. And any conflicts at that point get easier to compromise/resolve. Sigh.