Me and my girlfriend have been going out for 4 months. GREAT relationship, no fights or being mad at each other. like i said, great. Shes an average looking girl, by no means ugly at all but whenever she gets the chance, she calls herself ugly. She has BELOW Zero Self Esteem. Any chance she gets, she has to tell me how ugly she thinks she is. Ive explained to her how i feel and how shes not ugly but she just denies it and goes " Yeah, well your the only one who thinks that" Or something. I hate it because shes really not, ive even had my friends tell her shes not.*she even wanted to break up once because she thought she was a bad girlfriend and i hated her. Then i had to explain i loved her and she changed her thinkins She was on her period though so that prolly was most of that..*i cant change what she thinks..I need advice

Also. I need to show her that i really care about her, i want to get closer to her, Im Her first boyfriend. And we have only kissed once in our 4 month relationship *all completely me too, heh..* I just want to get closet to her. Im not saying Bang her 24/7 or ANYTHING like that, i just want her to know she can trust me.

Thanks

All you really need to do is trat her like a queen *example:buy her shit, hold her, tell her she is beautiful, (I would say fuck her brains out but u dont want to) u know, that kind of stuff.

I have almost exactly the same situation (except we have sex all the time). the self esteem thing is just being worked out after almost 2 years. a big part of it (maybe not for your gf, but for girls in general) is that they are fishing for compliments. now I'm not sure if it was because I was complimenting her, or if it was added esteem, but when I just started randomly telling her I loved her, and that she was beutiful, she really stopped saying she was ugly. just tell her at any random time "you look really nice today." or when you're sitting together, look her right in the eyes and tell her that shes beutiful and that you dont want anyone but her. and be sincere!! they'll know if you dont mean it!

hope I could help.

Like I told someone else, give her a gold-dipped rose. I got 72 hours of sex for that.

I agree with ^ up there

She sounds like she has a self esteem problem. If you look at self esteem as a balloon then it needs to be inflated. If you have a high self esteem the balloon is just naturally infalted - it might leak a little or puff up a little depending on how you feel about yourself.

For someone with low self esteem the balloon has a major leak. It can't retain those good feelings, and needs to be blown up all the time.

You, sir, are blowing up her balloon. She can't - nobody else can - so she needs you to do it.

the question you need to ask yourself is if you want to keep doing that or help her be able to inflate how she feels about herself on her own.

There are a lot of things you can do to help her, such as next time she is standing in front of a mirror stand behind her and point out something that you like about her. don't just say it; point at her reflection.

Or just say something like, "wow, we look good together, hey?"

But, yeah do keep telling her that she is pretty, whatever, just remember to be honest about it. Women know what their faults are and if you lie about it they can tell and they will not believe you again.

Be honest when you talk to her, and tell her how you feel. Because you do find her attractive, that will come through without needing to say it all the time.

Edited: Speeling mistook.

[This message has been edited by Somniak (edited 07-30-2003).]

she's just digging for compliments. tell her more often how beautiful she is, dont wait for her to say she's ugly first.

She doesn't think she is ugly. Girls have some sort of confidence factor that makes them constantly Fish-for-Complements. They want to be constantly reassured that you love/like them and the way they look. My girlfriend does the exact same thing constantly, it doesn't bother me at all.



Shek

My girlfriend did the same shit till i got mad at her and told her she is beautiful and she needs to stop saying that.

she might need some zoloft or prozac or something. she might have serious depression. urge her to see someone.

I dont think she needs zoloft. Today when i looked her in the eyes and said she was beautiful she just looked at me, laughed and said yeah right. I think the thing is SHE said is she gets made fun of alot in school.Like people saying stuff like "take off your mask" and bullshit like that.

secretly put her pic on hotornot if she is genuinly good looking. Wait for good scores to come up. Show it too her. Complements from total strangers may help.

She DOES NOT need zoloft or prozac. Contrary to what America might tell you, they're not the answer to all of the world's problems.

She will get addicted then if she ever gets off them she will be really bad. You just need to boost her confidence. Get someone popular or a person who has influence over her to tell her she is beautiful.