This isn't really related to any problems I may be going through, but I have a question:

When a girl is mad (and you know she's mad), how do you get her to tell you what's wrong, instead of just hearing "I'm fine" everytime you ask with the pissed expression on their face?

Wow... that was kinda written weird...

Say, "Oh, I thought something was wrong. I'm glad you're fine."

The more you badger her the more she'll not tell you. If you just pretend like you don't want to know or don't care she'll be bursting to tell you. She'll eventually crack.

Crazy women..

quote:Originally posted by MrMojoRisin:

Say, "Oh, I thought something was wrong. I'm glad you're fine."

The more you badger her the more she'll not tell you. If you just pretend like you don't want to know or don't care she'll be bursting to tell you. She'll eventually crack.

Crazy women..

Eh, that doesn't seem to work for me. I think last time this happened, *that* was why she got mad. Because I was ignoring her.

Oh well. I can see other scenarios when that advice would come in handy.

again i must say it.

girls are stupid. i hate them.

if she says shes fine like that, theres a good chance its smthg you've said or done thats making her act like that. Dont say "Oh, I thought something was wrong. I'm glad you're fine", it'll only get her more pissed off. I dunno, just gently say that youre worried about whats bothering her or something. I hate silent treatment though. Bah.

Whatever u do don´t loose ur temper, because then u probarly know that once was a silent treatment for a day, is now silent treatment for a week...

Gah, I hate to admit it, but I've had those lame-ass silent treatment-giving moments.

It usually happens when I'm in a crappy mood, or hormonal, and the dude is just going about his normal business, and innocently does or says something that I choose to misconstrue.

My last fiance solved this by packing me off to a spa in Catalina, Capistrano or Calistoga for a few days. By myself. His treat. By the time I returned, I usually forgot all about my problem with him.

If you don't feel like dumping her, you'll just have to kiss ass and suck it up, if you want her to come around. Confronting or ignoring her "anger" just feeds into a vicious cycle. Whenever a guy did the ass-kiss thing, I was able to snap out of my "mood" and apologize for being an asshole.

Now if she has a genuine grievance, that's a different story.

Women suck sometimes. Sorry.

USing the question

"Are you pissed off because I slept with your best frined last night?"

is not the best thing to say.

There are two ways I handle this.

One: I nod and say, "jeez .. i know how you feel" And leave it at that. She usually takes that bait and gives me some idea of what is wrong.

Or I just wait until she tells me what is wrong. I've found that most of the time, when she says fine, what she is saying is, "something is wrong. I dont know what it is. As I am not a guy I will not dump it on you until a) I can put it into words and b) I know what has caused it. I'll get back to you."

Don't push too hard - remember, if people wanted to tell you what they were thinking they would be saying it instead

Yes, but people are weird. Especially women. Although I'm glad they're not as simple as us.

quote:Originally posted by Trueborn Vorpal:

Yes, but people are weird. Especially women. Although I'm glad they're not as simple as us.

If women were as simple as men I don't think men could love them. It's the mystery that is attractive - the mystery. Oh, yes, and their breasts.

Damn, I think i just proved the men are simple theory :P

quote:again i must say it.

girls are stupid. i hate them.

I second that. Too bad I am one.

I hate being a member of the offending party, chicks are so stupid.

Cindy has good advise for you. Usually I am not that extravagant, but you do need to make her feel special and give her space.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

Now if she has a genuine grievance, that's a different story.



I have got out of this situation though. It takes a certain type of apology. Saying and meaning it are not enough. You need to honestly validate her right to feel the way she does and give yourself 100% of the blame for it. If you can knock yourself down a notch in the process, it would help. The real question is do you know what she is mad about? I know she has not told you, but lots of times guys use this as an excuse when they really have a pretty good idea.

quote:Originally posted by EyeSore:



girls are stupid. i hate them.

that was sexist, completely generalized, childish, and most of all it was totally correct.

quote:Originally posted by Trueborn Vorpal:

Yes, but people are weird. Especially women. Although I'm glad they're not as simple as us.



yeah women are so complex and men so simple that virtually every significant scientific, technological, and religious breakthrough is because of a man.

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

The real question is do you know what she is mad about? I know she has not told you, but lots of times guys use this as an excuse when they really have a pretty good idea.

No, she's not mad about anything. I had this happen to me a few months ago and I did resolve it, but I just needed to see if the way I did it was the best way, and I'd like to be prepared if it happens again.

Thanks for the advice, everyone.

Disagreed(Directed toward syphon)....The refrigerator (one of MAN's favorite inventions) was invented by a woman...Marie Curie..in 1903 (I believe that is the year) Oh yeah, I'm a guy..

[This message has been edited by Syn (edited 07-30-2003).]

Don't badger her, that only makes things worse. Also, maybe keeping distance for a while or acting like nothing is wrong because you don't know will get them to talk.

Ignoring is not a good idea. Most of the time when men get the silent treatment is because Something has happened or been said during the day or night that has made me upset or mad or whatever. Most of the time all I want is to be hugged and loved. But as many have said guys are to simple to understand that sometimes a girl just wants to be close to her guy.

Did that make any sence?

um...how do you give the silent treatment?

I have tried and failed miserably many times. I always cave. How do you ladies keep up with it?

I mean, these guys really deserved it- and in like three hours I had them unblocked from my phone and computer, and was calling them and apologizing myself. Is it a concious decision and effort all the time, or am I broken or something for not being able to do this?