I have the most important relationship of my life. We have been best friends for 2 1/2 years, friends for 6 years, and have been boyfriend/girlfriend for 1 3/4 year. We know we will have some type of relationship forever and that we were meant to be together. Now past all that he wants to hook up with other people but not until I am comfortable yet. He also says that we can hook up with a girl together and he wont hook up with girls alone until I'm cool with it. And he says he doesn't have to fuck them, he wants more to see my fucking them. Also, he doesn't want any guy touching me below the waist. I can understand this. He thinks guys are really nasty. Now, I like girls, but how do I not feel so bad about him hooking up with other people? It makes me feel sick and not want to sexually engage with him and his hurting our relationship.

Wait.. wait. Back up.

If you two are in a relationship.. and you're not ok with the idea of him doing anything with another girl... why is it being considered? A little more detail would make this an easier topic to handle, but to answer the specific question you asked, you don't "get used to it". Either you're ok with it, or you're not. If you're not, then either he gives up on doing shit with other girls or you end the relationship. Unless you find a way to be comfortable with the idea, it just ain't gonna work.

It sounds like your boyfriend is playing you HARD and taking serious advantage of your feelings. If your first line of thought is figuring out a way to manage the idea of him seeing another girl and not the best way to boot his ass to the curb, something's wrong.

Like I said, give more details so you can get an answer more in-depth than "ditch his ass". Any attempts to try and figure out what's going on might be wrong, which you'll almost certainly point out and, in a way, defend him. If he's doing what it looks like he's doing, he deserves only a beatdown. No one should have his back, least of all you.

uh.... wow......

well, as soon as they release a license for hunting humans I'm going to buy a big ol' rifle... and sadly for you, assholes like your boyfriend are going to make the TOP of my potential prey list, so I wouldn't bother with him because sooner or later he'll be in season, and I'll put a bullet in his empty fuckin head.

Can't comprehend this fuckin swinger trend, fuckin disgusting. Further cannot comprehend little girlies who diminish themselves to the point where they will let their guy go off and fuck other chicks. Girlies who are stupid/foolish enough to allow this behavior are a sleazeball's idea of heaven.

no, its not like that. We love each other. I know what love is cause I thought I knew what is was [my parents] but I really didn't until I met Evan. We really will be together for a very long time with some relationship. We have lived three months together and now live close together and spend most everyday together. He spends more than 50% of his left over paycheck on me each week, we give eachother everything, time, what we have, doing stuff for eachother when wed rather be nursing some wound, ie. sleeping or sick. We're moving away together soon. We were meant to be together but before we met and got together this way we both had the philosophy of nonmonogamy, he still has it, i understand it [instinctual things] but I don't want to hook up with other guys so he doesn't have a problem. he says not being swingers is not evolving.

Alright. I'll take your word for it and give him the benefit of the doubt. That still doesn't change much. He's still trying abuse the shit out of your love and good nature.

Who is the most important person in the world to you? Him, right? So who's most important to him? You, I would hope. Sounds that way from your post. Yet, he feels it necessary to poke other chicks.

I'm not going to harp on the swinger lifestyle. I find nothing wrong with it. Some couples are into it; others do so to relieve stagnancy in their relationships. Do what works for you. The non-evolution line is crackpot shit, though. He's saying that because- and this is a promise- he heard about swingers when he was younger, thought it was the greatest thing ever, and fails to recognize that it only works when both of the people in the relationship are fully into it. Because you're not, he came up with something to make it sound like there's negatives to not sleeping with other people, which is bullshit.

You want him to yourself. That's fine. He wants the two of you to get out and fuck other people. That's also fine. Unfortunately, these are two philosophies which don't co-exist well at all, which is a truth you're currently learning. You basically have three paths to take in dealing with this dilemma.

1. Continue to let him abuse you. If you don't mind, that's your choice, but you may as well leave now. You'll find little sympathy or aid from anyone here. Go to peoplewholikeabuse.com or something.

2. Put yourself back into the lifestyle (since it sounds like you did it before). Obviously, if you left it once, that makes it sound as though you've grown tired of it, but hey, maybe that's preferable to..

3. Tell him that it's either other girls or you, not both.

Do not let him feed you stupid bullshit about how swinging makes for a healthy relationship. What makes a healthy relationship is both people having a mutual understanding of each other's beliefs and being able to reconcile their differences, but that's something you can't do in this case. It certainly doesn't sound like you've ever threatened to break up with him over anything, so put the ball in his corner. Make him choose one way or the other, and if he picks the other girls, walk away, no matter how much it hurts. He may be doing so because he thinks he can still work your brain and get you to come back under his rules. If he can't, then he needs to do some growing up before moving away with him would be anything remotely resembling a good idea.

By the way, the fact he spends over half his paycheck on you means jack and shit. It's only money. Your mind and heart are a billion times more important than your stuff.