There's a girl. I really, really like her a lot. We instantly became great friends, and things were going great for a while. Then, a new guy entered the picture, and said he liked her too. Long story short, when he found out how much I really really liked her, he decided to do 'the nice thing' and profess my love to her for me.

I of course became INCREDIBLY embarassed, but that's beside the point. Let me get to the point. Her and incredibly red-faced me discussed what just happened, and she suggested "maybe we could give it a shot." I agreed.

The next day, she basically gave me the cold shoulder treatment, and I got incredibly worried. Did I mention I really like this girl? I asked her to talk one last time, and I poured my heart out to her myself, the way it should've happened in the first place. She pulled a one-eighty from the night before, and said that, after a night of sleeping on it, that she didn't want an 'exclusive' relationship at the moment. She said that her first year of school was more important. Casual dating would be fine. No more kissing though (dammit). We could still be 'really awesome friends.'

She then went to her preview for college, and its now been about 5 days since I've even really been able to talk to her. I hope to god I can see her tommorrow.

Now, to my point. When I see her tommorrow(knock on wood), I want to ask her to reconsider. I have my reasons sorted out; School is important to me too. I screwed up and I could use the help getting back on track. I would love to be there to help her adjust to her new deal.(She is at a different college, only about an hour or so from mine). I have gone one year already, I know all aobut that crap you go through your first couple of months. I really really like her a lot. I still can't stop thinking about her...more reasons, but you get the gist.

Anyways, what I wanna know is, do you think (mainly aimed towards the females, males if you have experience with this kind of situation) that it will work this time, or am I just pushing a little too hard? I don't wanna blow our chances of possibly getting together a little later in the future (maybe, cross fingers) after she's in school and adjusted a little, but neither do I want a certain someone else pushing too far in to the picture. He seems to not grasp the fact that both of us are gone (for good, till December) in three weeks. Its getting hairy. I'm going nuts here, and the thought of losing her at all is actually making me physically ill.

I need input. I don't wanna lose the chance, but I don't wanna fuck it up at all either. What should I do?

[This message has been edited by Rabid Tangerine (edited 07-25-2003).]

From my personal experiences AS a male. Fuck it... you'll get hurt.

No but really. It's a dangerous game you're playing. I've been there a couple of times, it's a fucked up situation.. she's basicly pulling all the strings and you'll end up as an emotional wreck.

Now it's cool the first time... BUT THIS shit happened to me FOUR times within a year. So yeah I pretty much hit the bottom.. good thing my current gf still saw something that was worth salvaging and rescued me. Otherwise I dunno where I would be now. (wow, did I just let it out or what) ^_^

[This message has been edited by Razzy (edited 07-25-2003).]

I simply won't accept one more "Let's just be friends," or "You're too nice, and I don't wanna hurt you later," because its what I always get. Of course, I say "Ok," and two weeks later I'm hearing about how great their new boyfriend is in bed. Its rather painful to begin with, and I'm already an emotional wreck.

Not again. I guess I want all or nothing here. I'm sure I should just let it go, but I can't. She's invading my every waking thought and its driving me absolutely insane. I've had crushes on girls before, but this way oversteps anything like that. I won't call it love. Love is a strong word. I think infatuation works well.

I'm hitting the end of the line here. I haven't had a relationship longer than two weeks, and that was over a year and a half ago.

The last gf I had cheated on me. The one before that too. That's a total of two. That's it. Ever.

I'm sick of the price I pay for being humble, being forgiving, trying to "Look, but don't touch!" with every girl I've liked.

Not again. I won't take it. Bah.

I mean, I can meet and get to know girls, with little problem. I can flirt. I'm not afraid of them. Sometimes, they even seem to like me. The problem is every time when it comes to the wire all we ever are is friends. It never goes any farther.

I have almost 15 real close friends who all happen to be girls. A large portion of these are girls whom I started out having feelings for, just to accept that I'd never have them. Another portion led me on in the beginning and then about-faced on me when the time was convenient. I don't hold it against them. That's against my nature. I have had 2 who I could call a 'girlfriend', and look how that ended up.

No more. If it happens again, I just might scream.

(Heh. You wanna talk about letting it all out, here? I could drown you with the problems in my personal life.)



[This message has been edited by Rabid Tangerine (edited 07-25-2003).]

It's good that you're stepping up now. It'll help you in the future.

Note the future part.

You can get around her being in the driver's seat right now, but you can't avoid the fact that you guys will be in college come fall. An hour may not be that far, but it's also more than a lot of people are willing to go for a relationship that's still in its formative stages, *especially* a girl starting college with all those big, dumb, beefcake frat boys around.

It honestly doesn't sound like she likes you that much. The appearance, from what you've said, is that of a girl who enjoys your company and friendship enough to agree that she would give it a shot, then realized her feelings weren't backing up the words. Just because girls say they only want to be friends, it doesn't mean they'll necessarily change their tune if you're persistent. They may, they may not. You have to learn when to fight on and when to let it go.

I won't say this is a lost cause, because you know the girl, not me. It may work out the way you want, it may not. Call it your first step on the road to being well-rounded.