ok so me and my gf and some friends are in the car on the way back from a baseball game (me, my gf, 1 other girl, and 2 guys). so then we are kinda bored and my gf is like lets play sex. its a game where you are driving and when you see a car with a light burnt out you say sex and the people in the car of the other gender have to take there clothes off. so i am like ok i dont care bc she is good at this and i will just lose and it wont be a big problem cus i wont do anything big. but then this guy in the car starts kicking ass in the game and the girls are very surprised so my gf takes her shirt off but still has a bra on, but everything else is there and i am starting to get a little pissed off and uncomfortable bc it is around other guys and shit. so she sees i am getting pissed and she is like whats wrong i am just having fun and i was like yea i know so i didnt really make a deal about it i just stopped participating in the game. then the game kinda stops and nothing else is taken off. so my arguement is that she is my gf and i dont really want her taking off all her clothes around other guys and she was like well i thought it was alright if you were there and i said no i dont like that. so she is just trying to have fun and shit but it puts me in a bad position. am i so wrong by not ever wanting her to do this?

In fact ure very not wrong by doing that.... I would have done thew same thing. Here's the trick, tell her that u dont like sharing someone as beautiful as her with other ppl, as in u dont like sharing her beauty. tell her shes too good to be shared worked when I was in a similar situation.

I think it means you're a) jealous, or b) posessive. If you really love and trust her, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Of course, this is my amateur opinion, and I'm just a child.

Okay, let me have a try....

I think it's a case of both Yes & No. If you were doing this regularly to her in different scenarios I can see that she'd be pissed off at being "on a leash". I mean, no-one likes to be told they're not allowed fun.

Although if it was a one-off situation I don't think you were wrong. I mean, I can see were you are coming from when theres other guys in the car with you. You just want you have her to yourself.

Unfortunatly if she's very outgoing then this situation can re-occur plus the problems it brings. At least you told her how you felt about that incident & she might change a little. Hope this shed some light on the affair, jR.

Ok, first off, if any jackass comes in here saying you're jealous. They are WRONG. I hate when people call people jealous over stuff like this. Of course you aren't gonna want other guys to see your girl naked. Why wouldn't you care? You are doing the right thing by being protective.



Shek

quote:Originally posted by Damaged:

In fact ure very not wrong by doing that.... I would have done thew same thing. Here's the trick, tell her that u dont like sharing someone as beautiful as her with other ppl, as in u dont like sharing her beauty. tell her shes too good to be shared worked when I was in a similar situation.

I strongly second that!

quote:Originally posted by Prince Charming:

Ok, first off, if any jackass comes in here saying you're jealous. They are WRONG. I hate when people call people jealous over stuff like this. Of course you aren't gonna want other guys to see your girl naked. Why wouldn't you care? You are doing the right thing by being protective.



Shek



thank you, one asshole did say that i was jealous as always someone will. this is MY gf, and i do love and trust her i just dont want her going out and giving everyone a preview of herself, i am not overprotective although i do joke about how she is gonna start hating me and she has all these other guys bc other guys call her frequently and i dont stop her in that. and she is definetly very beautiful and i think i will pull that line on her that you suggested damaged, because that is definetly how i feel. i have changed too and i wont try to get girls to do that bc i know one day they will have someone they love and they wouldnt have wanted that to happen

I can understand but let her do what she wantz... as long doesn't to the other guys

i totally agree with shek. Its not really jealousy, just more of a protective measure (in the sense of protecting the relationship). You dont want other guys to see her naked, and why would you, after all, she is your girlfriend. She may be comfortable being naked around your friends, but you are within reason to fear that your friends will look at her in a sexual manner.

all in all, if you feel this way, dont play the game. that sort of game is more of an all couples thing, or an all just friends thing. But thats just me

There is no right or wrong here. You feel how you feel. Me, I would let it go. What is important is how you communicate what you feel. A lot of guys would start pouting and come across as insecure. Perception is 50% of it and you can lose points that you can't win back if you are not careful in these situations. However you can portray confidence with either position if you do it right. Keep in mind though that it is her body even though she is your GF and the final say is hers. Voice your opinion but be ready to be cool with whatever she decides.

If you're uncomfortable, maybe you should tell her that before she starts playing.

And if she claims to be "just having a little fun", maybe she's not worth it in the first place.

this is one of those gray area's between right and wrong. i myself am not overprotective, so long as i'm there with my girlfriend. but if you think about it in a different mindset, it can be a great game to tease each other with. maybe you're just not comfortable with the idea, i personally am naked all the time, and look at it from an objective standpoint. also, it depends on how well you know these guys, if you're really good friends with them, it probably wouldn't have been a big deal, they'd just think you have an awesome girl.

It's her body, let her do what she wants.

I would (have) never stopped my b/f from taking off his clothes and he's never stopped me. The only way it could be justified (in my eyes) if I was drunk and then he was protecting me. But if I'm fully aware of what I'm doing, that makes me a consenting adult. If I want to go skinny dipping with my friends I'm going!

Lighten up a bit. I don't think you were wrong. How you feel is how you feel. I'm just saying maybe you should try a different perspective, nekkidness isn't bad. I'd much rather my guy be stripping while I'm there (knowing I don't care) than going behind my back because he knows I'd flip.

In honesty though, if my b/f was to get pissed from me showing off a little, I'd take it all off just so he knows who's in control of me. I'm quite the antagonist though, I like to push people's buttons.

It is jealousy, if in a weak form. I can't really say I fault you for not liking the idea of your girlfriend taking off her clothes in front of other guys, though. It doesn't sound like you got really pissed about the game, which is good.. because you'd really have no right to be. It didn't go the way you expected, but getting upset is bullshit. If you don't like it, tell her so, and ask her not to play that stuff anymore. Hopefully she won't get pissed.

[This message has been edited by Spiffy McBang (edited 07-23-2003).]

after reading these there was more to the story, she had drank a little along with everyone else in the car, but she wasnt totally drunk. also i didnt know the people in the car to well except her friend who is a girl. i also felt pretty sick so i was acting kinda non-social and looking sad/pissed bc i didnt feel very good at all. i think this may have made her think differently than the way i really felt. i told her i didnt feel well and when she kept asking what was wrong and if it was ok that she was playing i was like nothing i dont care whatever and she was like ok fine. i just didnt feel good at all. if she is taking off all her clothes i know these guys well enough to know that atleast 1 of them is gonna be looking at her in a sexual way and will develope feelings, because there are already 2 guys that have feelings for her outside of this situation that are telling her to dump me and get on them. luckily she only took off her shirt and still had a bra on so no one saw anything. i dont want to come off as an asshole, its just that all of this stuff together just doesnt make me feel good and when i told her that night that i didnt really like the game with a lot of people i think she got a little upset because its like me telling her she cant do something and i really dont want to do that. i am really lost at what i should say to her now because i didnt see her yesterday and i dunno if i am gonna see her today. the whole thing depresses me whenever i think about it, i dunno what to say to her.

Tell her, "Hey, I'm not going to tell you waht to do. But it bugs me, so I'm asking you not to do it." Give her whatever sensible reasons you can if she seems bothered or hesitant. As long as you're respectful about it, then it all comes down to how much she gives a damn about your feelings on the matter.

quote:Originally posted by Spiffy McBang:

It is jealousy, if in a weak form.

Explain your logic of how him not wanting his girlfriend to be naked around other guys is jealousy. All he wants is to keep the relationship strong.

You're wrong,

Shek

Jealousy is, among other things, suspicion of the faithfulness of one's partner, or over-protectiveness of one's possessions. While a girlfriend is hardly a possession, the same theory applies (she is, after all, "my" girlfriend).

He said that he's bothered by the fact his friends will look at her in a sexual way, to the point where they very well may start trying to get her to break up with him and date them. That touches on the first definition. If he were totally comfortable with his girl being loyal regardless of what those guys try, this wouldn't be an issue.

I'm not totally positive the second definition is relevant, but it seems very possible, so I mentioned it. What else would you call it if a guy didn't want anyone else looking at his girl when she was showing off of her own accord? Overprotectiveness seems like a good fit, doesn't it? That's another form of jealousy.

Also note that I said it was weak. It certainly sounds like he's handling everything well, not letting it get the best of him, which is how to make things work out in the end. If jealousy could ever be considered a positive, it's to the extent he's showing it in this situation.