ok,basically i am 16yr.old girl and i have a lotta "issues",mostly depression and shit but i hide it very well(or so i have been told).Anyways i use to cut.S.I.H., and all down my left sholder and on forarm i have a pretty alotta long scars, a couple are even raised, cause i needed stickes or whatever and didnt get em.Well to me it looks pretty fucked up and i usually cover um with lots of big braclets or a hoodie i know people notice them.I broke up withmy bf recently and am pretty shy about myself in genral but i mean what woould u think if u were going out with a girl and then nticed all thses scares would u be totally grossed out and thinkshe was a freak or not say anything but think she was weird just the same?

I wouldn't think much of it. I'd almost certainly ask about them, and given the story, I would just say, ok. It wouldn't affect my view of her, unless she began to exhibit signs of still doing shit like that.

But I'm also 25. Girls I meet who would have scars due to cutting have almost definitely been out of that cycle for quite some time. Thinking back to when I was 16.. honestly, I can say I would give someone in your situation a chance. But I wasn't exactly your average teenage guy. You've done this to yourself, now you have to live with it. The best you can do is be candid about how you got the scars and let the guy know you don't do that anymore (assuming you don't). He'll have to decide for himself if he's willing to give things a try.

alright and assumeing i still do slip up and cut sometimes then what?Actually its not like u just grow outta that stuff the bad stuff that makes u wanna cut will still with a girl forever.And what if she did tell u then what?

Sorry its just a touchy subject.I know i am crazy.

heya, just on your situation. i have been there, not to go so far as to cut myself but the thought of suicide im sure has crossed everyones mind sometime or another. But if you did meet a guy you liked, and he understood what was going on wouldn't you want to stop, and not "slip". Because he would make up for all the shitty things that happen in life that make you want to go so far as to hurt yourself?

Cutting is not a slip if you do it on purpose. There's a reason for it. Even if those reasons don't go away, as you get older, you learn how to deal with them in ways that don't involve self-mutilation.

If a girl told me she still cut.. again, going back to the way I was at 16, if I liked her, that alone wouldn't make me bail. I would try to help. But if it became apparent she just could not handle whatever was causing her to want to cut herself, then I'd eventually reach a breaking point. Just because I wouldn't flip out with regards to the cutting doesn't mean your apparent inability to deal with shit wouldn't run me off.

um well my girlfriend does have some scars on her arm, she don't bother to cover them up, i don't really care, i mean, if she's ever in that state of mind again, which she hasn't been since before i knew her, then this time i'd be there to help her through whatever is wrong. i would never discriminate on the sake of of some scars, if they are all old in fact, it shows they overcame whatever problem they had. hey well thats my bit.

When my girlfriend and I broke up, she went through a "self-mutilation" stage when she was depressed.

We are going out now and she has many visible scars, but most people dont really make a big deal of it. It certainly doesn't bother me at all, even if i met another girl with scars from depression i would treat her like "another" girl.

Most girls i have known have all had a depressive part in their lives and they all handled it differently, it was sad that my GF actually chose the "cutting myself will help" way.

But don't think that you have scars that you should have to go to all lengths to cover them up. Not everyone gets scars from depression. If you are embarrased you can just say you cut it on something and just let the people you want to know, know the truth about them.

Sorry to hear you went through something as bad as what you did. Also, if someone or a boyfriend say's something about your scars in a bad or disrespectful manner, they obviously are immature and have no idea about life.

Thanks,

Mr Winters.

no decent guy should dump u for the scars. its probably a good thing if he actually cares about them though. as for the whole depression thing i know i'm stating the obvious when i say don't resort to self mutilation, things can only get worse from there. i'm generally a happy person, but when i'm depressed i find its good to just step out the front door and walk around in random directions for an hour or so. if not that, weights. just go to the school weights room and beat the shit out of a punching bag and then work on a rowing machine till i can barely walk anymore. then you're so f*cking tired you can't think. anyway, i'm no philosopher, and to be honest i know f*ck all about depression. just thought i'd give u my take on the subject, u never know what will help.

and no, you're not a freak.

[This message has been edited by CaptainBlackAdder (edited 05-30-2003).]

I can only speak for myself regarding this subject.

Meet girl with scars from self mutilation in the past: No biggie.

Meet girl with scars from self mutilation very recently: Try to help her work it out another way.

Meet girl who wants to give ME scars: Run like the wind.

quote:Originally posted by NGNeer:



Meet girl who wants to give ME scars: Run like the wind.

Bondage isn't that bad

Listen alot of people have problems and some people take it out on there selfs by doin that. But belive me i have i have crippling depperesion but i cant hide it unless im on some sort or drug. But the best advice i could give u is when u get deppressed go and do something with a friend or something to get your mind off of that. When u keep your mind busy u dont get deppressed. Ive felt like u plenty of times but what i do is take some pills but u probobly dont have any. If u ever need to talk to someone or anything e-mail me or im me or something and we can talk. im on aol i really wanna help everyone who fells bad and deppressed.

Well, I'd definitely try my best to get you to stop and never start again.

I've gone through my own phase of inflicting pain upon myself, and I'm glad I got out of it.

But, if you were an interesting girl, I doubt that would deter me from pursuing a relationship.

I wouldt have any problems about it, but ill ask why u got em, and that would be it.

people can see through a persons past to see what they really are, dont worry about it.

Don't worry about scars, my whole upper arm is covered with some pretty bad ones. I don't hide them, and no one gives a shit about them.

You are not a freak, if anyone thinks you are why the fuck would you want to go out with them anyway? I think you need a better opinion of yourself.

ok thanx

As a married 33 year-old mother of 2 girls, I was in your shoes. I was a cutter for years. The issue of the scars will just fade away with the right guy. The issue of why your cutting, might fade away with time too. I hope you are seeking therapy. If ya need any help or a shoulder to cry on, I am here for ya...

until next time...

Ridinghood31

actually, this is really wierd, my current gf that i love has had and has the same problems as you. she has scars on her right wrist from it all, she says she tries to cover it up as much as possible around everyone and i told her to stop covering it up because i didnt effect how i felt about her and anyone who it does effect is a fucker. so basically whoever makes fun of you is a heartless bastard. i just told my gf i loved her

quote:Originally posted by NGNeer:

Meet girl with scars from self mutilation in the past: No biggie.

Meet girl with scars from self mutilation very recently: Try to help her work it out another way.

Meet girl who wants to give ME scars: Run like the wind.

Why run? Cutting is similar to tatoos for some people a form of body art, it isnt necessarily (sp?) an unhealthy and abhorent act. I actually have quite a few self inflcted scars of a body art nature.

If the source of the scars is depression, maybe counselling is something to look into.

If the source of your scars is the need to experiance new and very interesting sensations, then it isnt all that bad. Cutting yourself is odd, for me, I get kind of a natural anestetic. I can feel the scapel and the flesh, but there is no more pain then an injection from a doctor. This is all from when my scars were new by the way, I havent added to the collection in about five years. And when I did, I took care of myself, antiseptic, sterile scapel, sharp scapel etc.

So no scars dont make you a freak, in fact I would say they are proof that you are alive, and know yourself. If a girl wanted to give me scars, well it depends on why and what type.

if i started dating a girl and i noticed them, i wouldn't ask straight away because it might make the girl feel uncomfortable about herself.

sooner or later i would ask her how she got them and, if she wanted to, talk to her about them...i certainly wouldn't be grossed out...if i like the girl enough to ask her out then i like her enough to take her for who she is even if the person she is includes scars.

anyone who would be like "ewwwww...get away from me freak" should be shot because they are immature and insensitive.

and no...it doesn't make you a freak...everyone has problems...i used to be on anti depressants (escitalopram 10mg)because i used to punch walls and large objects when i got depressed or angry...and now i have a right hand that looked absolutely disgusting...permanently swollen and the bones have packed out...looks horrible to me...so i can sort of understand what you mean about having scars.

[This message has been edited by psycho_8b (edited 06-06-2003).]

i love girls with scars.

something about beauty disfigured....

i cant explain it

look's ugly to me, If she were mine she wouldnt want to display her anger on her body, she would beat the hell out of whoever fucked her up <>

PerniciousPixie666,





I used to cut...a long time ago. Never had a bf that was upset at the appearance so much as being concerned with whether I was ok, or needed help. They usually became more protective of me when they found out.

That wasn't always something I dealt with well, but it was kind of them.

It's a symbol to yourself of what you have overcome and the inner evolution you're going through. Don't let that inhibit you, people express their pain in different ways...I used to think of it as biting the pain back.

In a way it's still part of my personality-

it's a reminder that I've grown stronger...and have facets people can't touch. A strength of sorts...

the scars have all faded now, except one, in the shape of a small spider on my thigh...and when bf's have pted that out, it was more curiosity then dismay.

Don't worry about what other ppl think. A bf needs to care about you-- meaning everything that makes you; including all the facets of personality that comprise your individuality and past.

quote:Originally posted by PerniciousPixie666:

ok,basically i am 16yr.old girl and i have a lotta "issues",mostly depression and shit but i hide it very well(or so i have been told).Anyways i use to cut.S.I.H., and all down my left sholder and on forarm i have a pretty alotta long scars, a couple are even raised, cause i needed stickes or whatever and didnt get em.Well to me it looks pretty fucked up and i usually cover um with lots of big braclets or a hoodie i know people notice them.I broke up withmy bf recently and am pretty shy about myself in genral but i mean what woould u think if u were going out with a girl and then nticed all thses scares would u be totally grossed out and thinkshe was a freak or not say anything but think she was weird just the same?

you sound just like me...except i'm a guy

How people react to it is their own problem, i mean... I have a good few self inflicted scars, and luke[ex-bf, very good mate now] used to find it really odd cause i'd freak out if someone grabbed me by the wrist or something...

Just be yourself, don't straight out tell him that you used to be a cutter, if he asks why you always wear long sleeved stuff, and he isn't an immature prick, just tell him.

quote:Originally posted by PerniciousPixie666:

ok,basically i am 16yr.old girl and i have a lotta "issues",mostly depression and shit but i hide it very well(or so i have been told).Anyways i use to cut.S.I.H., and all down my left sholder and on forarm i have a pretty alotta long scars, a couple are even raised, cause i needed stickes or whatever and didnt get em.Well to me it looks pretty fucked up and i usually cover um with lots of big braclets or a hoodie i know people notice them.I broke up withmy bf recently and am pretty shy about myself in genral but i mean what woould u think if u were going out with a girl and then nticed all thses scares would u be totally grossed out and thinkshe was a freak or not say anything but think she was weird just the same?



You sound like my kinda gurl... whats your number? (seriously)

-The Wolf

I know how you feel, I have scars all over my left forearm and my shoulders (all self made) plus i have many carvings in my legs and stomach. I havent cut in a while but I'd do it again in an instant. Its just my way of dealing with things. And if some guy isn't gonna be with you because u have scars thats crazy. He should like you for who you are, not for what is on your body. Much luck

Nyky

quote:Originally posted by PerniciousPixie666:

am i a freak?

More so than if you had three arms.

No, you're not a freak, I have a bunch of scars just like that. I'd say I have to agree with AxisMundi, you are the kinda girl I'd like.

simalar problem. no big scars. a few. people ask. i say fuck off. they say ok.

i wouldn't give 2 shits..i mean obviously i would care about you if i was going out with you or knew you but it wouldn't bother me as long as you had stopped..the scars wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Shittie

Well ur definitely not a freak or weird. Cutting isn't rare for one. Also, I knew a girl who used to cut herself while she was high on painkillers and stuff similar to that. I really didn't think to much of it tho and I still don't see it as bein satanic, insane or anything like that. It's somethin that u shouldn't stress about really, if ur uncomfortable with it say u got them in a fight or such.

Hey, yeh know, I used to cut myself alot when I was about 15, it's something you're going to have to want to stop. I can be hard to stop at first, but try keeping a log of every time u cut yourself, and reward yourself like one a week, bi-weekly, whatever helps, give yourself incentive to stop. Trust me, life is alot better without cutting, and eventually, the scars will fade...good luck with trying to stop.

quote:Originally posted by PerniciousPixie666:

alright and assumeing i still do slip up and cut sometimes then what?Actually its not like u just grow outta that stuff the bad stuff that makes u wanna cut will still with a girl forever.And what if she did tell u then what?

Sorry its just a touchy subject.I know i am crazy.

yeah you are coming off as a freak just a lil and by a lil i mean a lot but however i wouldn't know from behind the computer screen i would only know if i actually met and spent some time with you. post a pic of yourself. preferably near nude maybe a thong and bikini if you want more accurate answers but if you just want people to say sweetie you're fine then damn dont do that dont have someone come to accurately evaluate you. post pics. different stances closeups of your arms. legs. chest. face. overall front and back. ass. that should do. get a site like on geocities.com or web1000.com and link it to a new thread and we'll evauluate whether or not you are a freak with almost precision accuracy feedback. like i said if it's what you want though I'll guess.

here i go.

Awww, sweetie, honey, you look just fine the way you are and whether or not you cut yourself we still love you for you magnificent inner beauty!

sounds to me like that wasn't really what you asked for. that humorism isn't what you wanted is it? i think you wanted feedback. post pics. then we'll tell you.

im faad knoxville welcome to jackass

ow my eye!

-Fa'ad