What are some good pickup lines, any guys get back to me with some that haven't gotten you a slap in the jaw, girls- tell me what you want to hear?........simple enough

"Excuse me, I'm Mel Gibson. Did you just see a dingo dog run by with my shirt?"

"your parents must have been retards, 'cause you're just so damn special"

"Hey you're cute. Wanna screw?"

cc

quote:Originally posted by Concealed Carrier:

"Hey you're cute. Wanna screw?"

cc

I KNOW YOU CAN COME UP WITH SOMTHING BETTER THAN THAT, i wana see some original ones

Hey look at what i got here ..." *WHACK*

I wanna be your Sledgehammer.

I swear that is not from a song by Peter Gabriel. I SWEAR.

"nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

"<insert compliment here>, Wanna Screw?"

wouldnt mind seeing some girls replying to this. oh.. Is that a keg in your pants , cause I really wana tap that ass.

LOL!

i've heard quite a few and researched the rest for a radio show i did on pickups. The worst: "do you have a cigarrette?" or "my friend over there likes you!" the best: "that's the fuckin' sexiest navel i've ever seen!"

And then there's the UTTER LOSER who said nothing, just walked up to me and my girlfriends' table, took a swallow from our glasses and asked my cousin to dance. She said "sure, right after you buy me another drink!"

...and he DID (using his friend's cash),...and she DID (dance with him) and HELLO, I'M STILL WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO CHANGE MY HEPATITIS INFECTED DRINK HERE!

(girl/guy comes up to you, asks for time) Hmmm, my magic watch says your not wearing any underwear! Oooh wait, it's an hour fast.

Get some business card sized cards and print on them "Hi, I would like to get to know you better over a cup of coffee(or whatever tickles your fancy). Call me sometime. Here's my phone number: XXX XXXX"

Go to some crowded place, give the cards to chicks that catch your eye and run away straight after if you're the shy type.

The best thing about this is that if they don't call you, it's ok. It's not as bad as straight up rejection.

However, if you want to hit it off right away:

You: Hi my name's [insert your first name]

Her: I'm [insert her first name]

You: Since we are on first name basis already, let's fuck.

[This message has been edited by just.landed (edited 02-22-2003).]

Out of bordom, i was standing in a crowd of people at school, and there was this guy standing next to me, since we were already there 10 min, i turned around to him and went "so..wanna fuck?"

Eh, worked for me. then again..i didn't really want to screw him.

Or, i did go out with this one guy who walked up to me at the pub one day and went "look, i don't know you, i don't want to know you, but i reaaally want to screw you. And then we'll cuddle"

hehe, i found it amusing that in the end he was one of the clingiest people i've ever met.

my love for you is like school restrooms, overflowing

my love for you is like diahrea, i cant hold it in

"Is there a mirror in your knickers because i can see myself in em"

one cheesy one that really does work is:

"I believe in love at first sight and your the first thing i'm seeing".....

Girls just simply love the word "love".......

Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

heres a few more i liked

Your name is Sandra, huh? Can I call you Sandy? Really, what time?

I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

Meeeowww, DimLiquiD, that's some fine flirting......question is, are you all talk?

[This message has been edited by Tabiba (edited 02-22-2003).]

At a bar, a guy comes up to me and says, "Hi Gorgeous, can I buy you a drink?".

ps: I don't care whether he thinks I'm gorgeous or not as long as he buys me the drink.

or

"I've been waiting for you all my life, I'm in love".

"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?"

^^ Better one : "Fuck me if I'm wrong, but you want to sex me."

A few ones which will guarantee rejection, but are funny anyway:

'I lost my pussy.. can I play with yours?'

Similar to that one ^ :

'I've lost my phone number, can I have yours?'

'Have you got a map? Cos i've lost myself in your eyes.'

'I'm sorry, but that skirt/dress/pants/whatever really don't go with the earrings/handbag/WHATEVER , you're going to have to lose them.'

-Danteaus-

"Your daddy must've been a thief, because i saw him stealing light bulbs at K-mart....wait..."

I heard this one from my buddy Josh.

Guy: Pardon me, miss, but according to my magic watch, you're not wearing any panties.

Girl: Well, your magic watch is wrong.

Guy: Oh, that's right, daylight's savings. It's an hour fast.

quote:Originally posted by MoneyBoxers14:

"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?"

^^^ My personal favorite....

You look just like my third wife. Of course I've only been married twice...

One of us is thinking about sex... Okay, it's me.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.

[This message has been edited by A-F Army (edited 02-23-2003).]

tabiba , i think you are all talk

"Excuse Me [put on sad face]'I Lost My Teddy Bear Will You Sleep With Me"

"Is That A Mirror In Your Pants Cause I Can See Myself In Them"

AWWW DARK YOUR FIRST POST [TAKE A PICTURE]

Next time i see u dim im gonna hurt u b8tch

[This message has been edited by darkmag00 (edited 02-23-2003).]

quote:Originally posted by DimLiquiD:

tabiba , i think you are all talk

.....too bad you'll never know

all talk and defesive, possibly boring

"Hi my name's steve stifler, and i have an eleven inch penis.... AROUND. Think about it!" - Stiffler from american pie 2

"Hi, I'm [your name]. What's yours?"

tabiba where the hell is malta or wherever u live? and does it exsist?...j/p

South of sicily, which is south of italy...and you are all invited to come here, drink and party. It's 15 celcius and sunny right now.

quote:Originally posted by Tabiba:

It's 15 celcius and sunny right now.

*looks outside*

FUCK YOU.

Hey... Me good... Sex, you wanna have?

Hey baby i got da "F" i got da "C" and i got da "K"...all i need iz "U"

Your clothes look very becoming on you. Then again, if I were on you I'd be-cumming too.

//SLAP

*sobs quitely in a puddle of tears*

we could fuck in the back of a truck...

quote:Originally posted by SmCiOtBcIhE:

Your clothes look very becoming on you. Then again, if I were on you I'd be-cumming too.

//SLAP

*sobs quitely in a puddle of tears*

I believe this is one of the funniest i heard so far... I don't really know any... Cept for the REAL sad ones like, "Baby, are you tired?" "Why?" "Cuz you've been running through my mind all day.." Sad but its a classic.. Anyways....

~Raven~

Have you ever went to the zoo? Cause i have a trouser snake in my pants

hi, my name's ____, you'd better memorise it cause you'll be screaming it all night

or

i forget if someone said this one yet, but:

I like that shirt.. but it'd look better on my floor

wanna know how to make mypenis 12 inches long...fold it in half.

I really enjoy talking with you...

why?

because your smile matches your personality

Here is one that really worked. What's more, it is resonably literate and mature. Some of you children who have posted miss-spelled smut might listen up.

The scene is a show-biz party--all kinds of actors, agents, producers, directors, you name were there.

A writer was sitting by hmself on a couch, eating peanuts out of a bag. An actress comes over and sits down.

He offers her a peanut, says "I wish they were emeralds."

A few months later, they were married.

What Arms Merchant forgot to add is that 13 months later they were divorced, she left with the baby, the dog and HALF!!!

quote:Originally posted by Lysander:

"Hi, I'm [your name]. What's yours?"

I agree Lysander, the straight forward approach works quite often as there are so many goofs out there using all these lines above.

quote:Originally posted by Capt_Morgan:

What Arms Merchant forgot to add is that 13 months later they were divorced, she left with the baby, the dog and HALF!!!

But the line worked, did it not?

hey how about we go back to my place and do things im going to tell my friends we did anyways

Hi, my friend over there wants to know if you like me.

cc

Hey you got any texan in ya,

No, well ya want some?

(worked last weekend in tennisee)

Damn I bet you would look good in fishnets and a garter. (worked the weekend befor in mexico)

Hi my name is Justin whats yours?

that one works the most though the other two could get you slaped if used at the wrong time and person.

quote:Originally posted by Capt_Morgan:

I agree Lysander, the straight forward approach works quite often as there are so many goofs out there using all these lines above.

True, true, but the straightforward approach allows her maintain that running mental commentary on clothes, probable income, likely disease status, marital/girlfriend status.......(i know, because me and other women all do it).......whereas if you make her laugh she's not thinking, she's just enjoying herself, and add that to some alcohol and she does not want to leave your laughs for an instant. That one about folding his penis in half is hoo ha funny!

Damn these pants are itchy! Mind if I take them off?

Tabiba, very close up, in detailed look at it, but now we are leaving the subject of pick up lines and going into the psychology of them, I couldnt have picked a better direction to go. so whats your number and where and when can we meet ?

[This message has been edited by DimLiquiD (edited 03-15-2003).]

Alright love ?

Do you know the difference is between a sausage & a penis? >>>>

If not then wanna come for a picnic?

jelly are you trying to get your dick bit off ? how about do you know the difference between sex and pizza ? no . so are you hungry

No but that was one for the cannibals, or any other fella's who actually enjoy visiting A&E Dept.

There was another version to but I can't remember it - anyway, I'm allowed to cock up, I'm new.

I didnt sleep with that girl, we were up all night.

my personal favorite (sorry if it's already been posted here):

are you Jamaican? 'cause "Jamaican" me crazy!

Give me 60 minutes and i will show you the world.

Hey, I got a bottle of vodka, wanna get drunk and fuck?

No? What you don't like vodka?

quote:Originally posted by Audiogasm:

Hey, I got a bottle of vodka, wanna get drunk and fuck?

No? What you don't like vodka?

I like vodka!!

I just thought of a great pick up line for girls, and it will get her laid every time!!

Here it is: "Hi"

Hi My name is______ you wanna fuck?

just thought these were funny

- hey, nice legs....what time do they open?

- if your left leg was thanksgiving and your right leg was christmas, could i visit you in between the holidays?

seeing as you've lost you're virginity i was wondering wether i could play with the box it came in.

quote:Originally posted by shaman250:

seeing as you've lost you're virginity i was wondering wether i could play with the box it came in.

hahah athats the best one i have read

It is generally agreed that 'Hello' is an appropriate greeting because if you entered a room and said 'Goodbye,' it could confuse a lot of people.

Hey baby, want to "have sex"?

either that or:

"Fancy a fuck?"

bend over and say ahh

/\GAY!!!/\

quote:Originally posted by DimLiquiD:

What are some good pickup lines, any guys get back to me with some that haven't gotten you a slap in the jaw, girls- tell me what you want to hear?........simple enough

If it's true, "you are what you eat"...I could be "you" by morning

P.S. I have a 6" tongue and can breath through my ears...

quote:Originally posted by Armed&Angry:

I heard this one from my buddy Josh.

Guy: Pardon me, miss, but according to my magic watch, you're not wearing any panties.

Girl: Well, your magic watch is wrong.

Guy: Oh, that's right, daylight's savings. It's an hour fast.

lol, i like that one...

i wonder if the feamles have any witty chat up lines....though how often does a female chat a guy up?....so dam lazy....

Yeah i was hoping for more female feedback on this post , only like two girls replied

quote:Originally posted by Azachata:

/\GAY!!!/\

You registered in February. As of this writing you have nearly 1300 posts.

Conclusion: You suck and so do your crappy little post commentaries that do nothing but take up space between actual posts.

Why do you care if you rack up a post count on a board where nobody knows who you are, because you're too busy being stupid racking up posts.

Hey guys! I just hit 1500 posts! 90% of them had the word 'gay' and half of those had no other words at all! Yay!

I am Azachata's wasted life

-Your bodys name must be Visa cuz your everywhere i want to be.

-I may not be fred Flinstone but i can sure make your bedrock.

-Lets play Army man, i sit on the bed and you blow the hell out of me.

-wanna play lion tammer? you be the lion and ill be the tamer, you sit on the ground and i'll feed you the meet!

-my beds broken can i use yours?

I was surprised nobody mentioned this one... I love it, and surprisingly it has always worked for me.

Ok, so u get a notecard, and on this notecard you write "Smile if you wanna sleep with me =)"

Warning: Don't use care while in a room with the opposite sex.

quote:Originally posted by Phantom:

You registered in February. As of this writing you have nearly 1300 posts.

Conclusion: You suck and so do your crappy little post commentaries that do nothing but take up space between actual posts.

Why do you care if you rack up a post count on a board where nobody knows who you are, because you're too busy being stupid racking up posts.

Hey guys! I just hit 1500 posts! 90% of them had the word 'gay' and half of those had no other words at all! Yay!

I am Azachata's wasted life

eat my ass, you hole

quote:Originally posted by Azachata:

eat my ass, you hole

Kind of ironic...

quote:Originally posted by buster_hymen:

"your parents must have been retards, 'cause you're just so damn special"

shut da fuck up stupid ass kid dat sorry ass line i bet ya dont even get any girls fool. go fuck yo self

^^^^

Fo shizzle my ebonics nigga!

lol these are just a few that would get you slapped.

1. If I told you you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

2. We should go to breakfast tomorrow, should i call or just nudge.

3. Are Those real?

4.You must be from Tenessee (sp?), cuz your the only 10 I see.

Lol

My brother used this one successfully at a bar(the girl was drunk and they made out).

"Hi. I have an eight inch tongue. Wanna see half of it?"

No pickup lines with me, i don't think girls really go for pickup lines. Just grab a drink, and sit close, but not too close, just close enough that if she needs to she can smack you in the face (i say this cuz if she does smack you, you deserve it). And talk to her to top everything off, make friends then it might go farther.

Im yet to read a pick up line thats actually gonna "pick a girl up" so forget about em. just start talking to her thats a start.

Seeing as all of the funny pick-up lines have been taken, I guess I'll be somewhat serious.

I bet you have an amazing smile

Will you sign this/take a picture/etc. so I can say I was with the most beautiful girl

Ask ambiguous questions that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no

here's one i just made up:

hey girl!

you could either put your hands down my pants or take a shit down them,either way i bet you'll feel nuts.

quote:Originally posted by Van-iLLer:

here's one i just made up:

hey girl!

you could either put your hands down my pants or take a shit down them,either way i bet you'll feel nuts.

thats nasty i'd pay to see you say that to a girl

hey wanna go behind a rock and get a little boulder??

(Guy)Ever tripped over a log?

(Girl)no..?

(Guy well how bout a root.

best line ever: I think someone farted, lets get out of here.

quote:Originally posted by DimLiquiD:

thats nasty i'd pay to see you say that to a girl

hmm maybe,it sounded alot better in my head.

i ment that they could ether feel my balls or feel the nuts inside thier shit(after they hang a shit in your pants)...ehh either way....

dunno if this one has been said or not:

guy: if you woke up in the woods on your hands and knees, a hole in the ass of your pants and jizz all over you, would you tell anyone?

girl: (thinks about it) no, i wouldn't

guy: wanna go camping?

i once asked a room full of 6 males who wanted to have sex with me and all of them raised their hands. i didnt (and wouldnt) sleep with any, but i think if your female and want to get fucked thats all you have to do, really.

YOU- whats your moms phone number?

HER- why?

YOU- i have to thank her for makeing something beatiful.

I'm gonna take a camera to a mall sometime, and film me saying these to all of the chicks

P.s If I score, I'll keep the camera on, haha

Tingtonger

My favorite pick-up line

"U already have 200 something bones in u would u like another one"

Hello, I love you. Won't you tell me your name ?

Girl, oyu must be dawg shit, cuz im picking you up!

Guy: Wanna Fuck?

Girl: No

Guy: DAMN

well the best i know is

"Hey!, It's not gonna suck itself."