Who is Bob?

You'll "do anything for slack", but you want to get "involved"? Nay, that path leads STRAIGHT to the damnation of Pinkness, straight to the lair of the Conspiracy "Bobbies" and their cheesy, imitation "Bob"! Accept only the cheesy REAL "Bob"! SLACK OFF! Quit your job! QUIT EVERYTHING! The Church of the SubGenius CANNOT exist! It is an ORGANIZATION for people who are NOT joiners! Yet you MUST join in order to be SAVED! Don't TRY to puff the Pipe 'o "Bob"; LET the Pipe puff YOU!

It's clear that you need emergency Third Nostril surgery immediately; the question is how to accomplish it. Find "The Book Of The SubGenius" in your bookstore (formerly published by McGraw-Hill, now another publisher has it). Or to get a direct pipeline to Eternal Salvation ("Or Triple Your Money Back"), send $1 to The Church of The SubGenius, P.O. Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214.

Just remember to PULL THE WOOL OVER YOUR OWN EYES!