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Why Softball Is Better Than Sex
WHY SOFTBALL IS BETTER THAN SEX
* You can play softball as much or as little as you want; YOU get to decide.
* After an unusually long and difficult softball game you can still ride your
bike home.
* In softball, the other team pays attention throughout, even if they're done
scoring.
* If you have to take a piss during a softball game, you can say "Excuse me,
I gotta drain the swamp" and you don't lose style points.
* In softball, nobody comments on the size of your bat, as long as you know
what to do with it.
* In softball, you don't feel guilty about winning the ugly ones.
* The other team never has to forfeit a game cause they're on their period.
* In softball, you don't have to compliment the other team on good they look
in their new uniforms.
* You don't have to buy the other team dinner to get a game.
* If you get all scratched up in a softball game, you can brag about it to
your wife.
* In softball, if you go a couple months without scoring, your balls don't
hurt.
* In softball, you can play the same team every day for a year and it's never
the same twice.
* You don't mind if your parents come to watch you play softball.
* You can play three, maybe four softball games a day.
* In softball, it's no concern of yours if the other team has had marital
relations with diseased livestock.
* In a good weekend of softball, you can play six or seven different teams and
it only costs you twenty bucks and you may get a prize at the end.
* Playing the wrong softball team won't get you shot.
* You can be absolutely certain that, nine months after a softball game, the
other teams lawyers won't call, asking for half of your pre-tax income for
the next eighteen years.
* During a softball game you can spit tobacco juice all over the place.
* Rest assured that the other team will not invite you to the ballet.
* The other team doesn't demand that you shave before the game.
* The other team can smell like road kill and you'll never know it.
* If you don't score in a softball game, the other team doesn't ask you if
you've had that problem often.
* No matter how drunk the other team is they never throw up in your bed.
--
Selected by Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.
Please! No copyrighted stuff. Also no "mouse balls," dyslexic agnostics,
Iraqi driver's ed, Administratium, strings in bar or bell-ringer jokes.
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To the best of our knowledge, the text on this page may be freely reproduced and distributed.
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