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Funny Red Neck Jokes (get this)
You might be Considered a Redneck if...
* Your front porch collapses and you kill more than 6 dogs
* You've ever used lard in bed
* You think potted meat and saltines are an hors d'oevre
* There is a stuffed possum mounted anywhere in your house
* You consider a six-pack of beer and watching a bug-zapper
quality entertainment
* Less than half of the cars you own run
* The main color of your car is "primer"
* Your family tree doesn't fork
* Your wife's hairdo has ever been caught in a ceiling fan
* Your mother has ever been involved in a fist fight at a high
school sports event
* You've ever B-B-Qued spam on the grill
* The neighbors started a petition concerning your Christmas
lights
* Your brother-in-law is your uncle
* You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey &
The Bandit was snubbed for best picture
* The rear tires on your car are twice as wide as the front ones
* You consider True Story or Field & Stream deep reading
* You prominently display a gift you purchased at Graceland
* The diploma hanging in your den includes the words "Trucking
Institute"
* Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board
* You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding
* You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader
* You think beef sticks and moon pies are two of the major food
groups
* You think Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug
* You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior
* You think the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of
all time
* You have a rag for a gas cap
* You had a toothpick in your mouth when your wedding pictures
were taken
* You've ever used a weed eater indoors
* Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand
* You have a fly-strip hanging above the kitchen table
* Your matchbook doubles as a toothpick
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To the best of our knowledge, the text on this page may be freely reproduced and distributed.
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