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Why I Fired My Secretary!
Subject: General B*llsh*t
Title: Firing Secretaries
From: Allanon
Date: 12/01/87 09:02:04
Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too
hot that morning. I went to the kitchen knowing that my wife
would be pleasant and say 'Happy Birthday' and probably have a
present for me. She didn't even say 'Good Morning' let alone
'Happy Birthday'. I said to myself "Well, thats wives for you.
The children will remember." But the children came into breakfast
and didn't say a word. And when I started for the office, I was
feeling pretty low and despondent.
As I walked into my office, Janet said "Good morning Boss --
Happy Birthday" and I felt a little bit better that someone had
remembered.
I worked until noon. About noon, Janet knocked on my door and
said, "You know its such a beautiful day outside and its your
birthday, so let's go to lunch, just you and I."
I said, "By George, that is the greatest thing I have heard
all day. Let's go." We went to lunch. We didn't go where we nor
mally go, we went out into the country to a private place. We had
two Martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such
a beautiful day we don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I
said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go by my apartment, and
I'll fix you another Martini."
We went to her apartment. We enjoyed another Martini and
smoked a cigarette and she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I
think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more com
fortable" and I allowed her as I didn't mind at all. She went
into the bedroom and in about six minutes she came out of the
bedroom carrying a big birthday cake followed by my wife and
children. All were singing 'Happy Birthday' and there I sat with
nothing on but my socks.
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