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Blonde Jokes
Q: What did the blonde girl say when her boyfriend blew in her ear?
A: Like, thanks for the refill.
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Q: What do you get when you put 25 blondes in a freezer?
A: FROSTED FLAKES
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Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: GIFTED
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Q: How do blondes keep their ankles warm?
A: WITH THEIR UNDERWEAR
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Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A: A THOUGHT
[ENTER] to continue, 'STOP' to stop, 'NOSTOP' for continuous output>nostop
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Q: What's a brunette's mating call?
A: IS THAT BLONDE GONE YET?
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Q: Why do blonde's have T.G.I.F. on their shoes?
A: TOES GO IN FIRST
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Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
A: OPENS THE CAR DOOR
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Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO RE-TRAIN THEM ON MONDAY
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Q: What is the first thing a blonde does when she gets up in the morning?
A: GOES HOME
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Q: What's a blondes idea of safe sex?
A: Putting the car in park.
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Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering wheels?
A: More headroom.
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Q: Why do blondes where hoop earings?
A: So that they have a place to put their feet during sex.
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Q: What do you call 6 blondes placed ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
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Q: What does a blonde say after sex?
A: So, are you all on the same team, or what?
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Q: Why do blondes wear ponytails?
A: To hide the valve stem in the back of their neck.
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Q: How many blondes does it take to make toll house cookies?
A: 25: 1 to mix the dough, 1 to unwrap and stir in the chocolate chips,
and 23 to peel the candy shell off the M&M's!
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Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
A: She kept throwing away all the candies that had a 'W' on them.
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Q: What do you call a blonde with hair dyed brown?
A: Artificial intelligence.
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Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: It kept falling out.
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Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.
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Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.
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Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: You have to retrain them.
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Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in her shoulder pads.
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Q: Why don't blondes eat Jell-O?
A: They can't fit two cups of water in the little boxes.
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Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
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Q: What is the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm SOOO drunk!"
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Q: What's the mating call of the redhead?
A: "Next!"
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Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.
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Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A: Introduces herself.
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Q: What's the second thing a blonde does in the morning?
A: Walks home.
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Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: They don't know any better.
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Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on top of her head?
A: All you can eat-under a buck.
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Q: How do you tell if a blonde's been using your computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
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Q: What do a blonde and a computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either means to you until they go down on you.
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Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They can't dial the 11 in 911.
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Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a mirror on the bottom of the pool.
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Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilized.
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Q: Why did the blonde only change her baby's diapers monthly?
A: The box said "For 20 pounds."
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Q: How does a blonde part her hair?
A: By doing the splits.
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Q: What do a bleached-blonde and a 747 have in common?
A: They both have a black box.
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Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: They can't get their head in the jar.
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Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: That's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
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Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
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Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A: They know how many men went down on the Titanic.
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Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
.
A: She threw it off a cliff.
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Q: Why was the blonde proud to finish her jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?
A: The box said "2-4 years."
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
A: Not everybody has been in a limo.
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Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
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Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
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Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
A: 69 interrupted by a period.
-----------------------
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside-down.
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Q: Why did the blonde go halfway to Norway then turn around & come home?
A: It took her that long to figure out a 14 inch Viking was a TV set.
-----------------------
Q: What do a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang them, the looser they get.
-----------------------
Q: What does a blonde say after she's had sex?
A: "Gee...are all you guys on the same team?"
-----------------------
Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.
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Q: What important question does a blonde ask before sex?
A: "By the hour, or flat rate?"
-----------------------
Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.
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Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
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Q: Why did the blonde drown in the pool?
A: Someone stuck a scratch & sniff at the bottom.
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Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Wonder if it's mine?"
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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
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Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A Space Invader.
-----------------------
Q: Why does a blonde take the pill?
A: So she knows what day it is.
-----------------------
Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.
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Q: Why did the blonde have a bruised navel?
A: Her boyfriend's blond too.
-----------------------
Q: What do blondes and cow patties have in common?
A: The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.
-----------------------
Q: Why don't Blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You wouldn't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
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Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: You can drop your load in it and it won't follow you around for a week.
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Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
A: She kept throwing out all the 'W's...
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Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's?
A: Her IQ goes up!
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Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.
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Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.
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Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.
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Q: How do you tell if a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: By the M&M peels on the floor.
-----------------------
Q: How can you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
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Q: Why did the blonde have square boobs?
A: She forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.
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Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide-and-seek champ.
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Compiled from VTCoSy, Jokes/Laugh conference, America Online.
End of file.
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