sympathy stains

the sadness falls upon me like a thick drape
 the slow rolling curtain at the end of the show
in a dim empty theater, a pale blue.
suffocating like a plastic bag,
feeling remission from life.
My enemy is killing me, I want to surrender,
 to play the martyr...
My enemy is my best friend
 but I can't just tell him to leave
 my hate for myself is all I have going.
the suffocating sadness
and a million eyes looking two million ways
losing communication...