My Life...

by Zack Pulver

My life is a hell.
I live my life day to day in fear of what else could go wrong.
My life is a jail.
I'm held back by rules and limitations that confuse me.
I turn to my friends as escape.

I can't escape.

I'm constantly being brought down by society.
I'm in constant, incessant, inconceivably unbearable emotional pain and distress.
I sit here, painfully crying before you when I'm the one who should be strong.
I can't be seen like this.
I need to be strong for my friends' sakes.
I don't care about my own well being.
I would gladly give up my so called "life" for any of my friends.

Devotion?
Insanity?

That I do not know
That I will not know, not until I understand myself will I truly be able live in peace.
Not until then will I have true happiness.
I've come close to obtaining such a state of nirvana, but it was stripped away from me by a waste of time.
My life is a hell.
My life is a jail.

I have nothing to live for.
No will to live.
No direction to travel.
Not because I'm a slacker, but because I've been disappointed and deceived so many times.
Because I've been taken advantage of, time after time.
Because I feel that my entire life has been an absolute waste of time.

I'm scared.

I'm scared of myself.
I'm scared of what I might do.
I'm scared of what I might NOT become.

"Your teenage years are the best years of your life."
Never before have those words been so wrong.

I write to you out of desperation.
I write to you as a last resort.
I have nobody left to believe in.
I have nobody left to live for.
I have my life to fear.
My life is a hell.
My life is a jail.

Help.