Axis of Evil Clubs

ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL
Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own Clubs


Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way
eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union address.

"Axis of Evil" members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in
the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."

THE AXIS PANDEMIC

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable".

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics"; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America", while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the "Axis of Countries
That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick."

"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in 'Guay'", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

is it just me or has the whole axis of evil thing failed completely. evil is represented by iraq iran and N korea. iran has real democratic elections, china and russia have said don't attack iraq, and N korea has nothing to do with anything. iraq and iran both hate each other anyway. iran has said it will defend itself if an attack seems likely. the last thing the US wants is a real war, with, god forid, people defending themselves, its not as fun when you start getting shot. iraq has not done any terrorist attacks on the US in the past decade (according to the CIA).

i know these countries are not the happiest places in the world, but they are not the worst, and america does not need to force its way of life on them, saying that it has the exclusive monopoly on freedom.

seems like the fucker just threw darts at a world map.

hehe funny story.

Iran claimed they will destroy persian gulf oil fields if bush ever attacks them.

How will we power our tanks?

Going to war with the middle east is like killing the only produce man in the desert. You're gonna starve eventually.

You can't call a country evil because it possesses a political system opposed to yours, it simply isn't diplomatic, nor does it resemble sound politics. I will admit that the leaders of North Korea and Iraq aren't particularly amiable individuals, nevertheless, the US does not muster support for its cause if it continues this histrionic rampage.

[This message has been edited by MesserschmidtBf109 (edited 02-11-2002).]