About
Community
Bad Ideas
Drugs
Ego
Erotica
Fringe
Society
Technology
register | bbs | search | rss | faq | about
meet up | add to del.icio.us | digg it
Go Back   Community > Arts > Eat your words
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Eat your words This forum, formerly known as Vogon poetry, has now been expanded to include all forums of literary creative expression. Please post ONLY your own work and try not to flame other users. Bad vogonesque poetry, is of course, still welcome here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 #1 
Old 2002-05-12, 14:16
Hells Hero Hells Hero is offline
Regular
 
Default A poem explaining my current life, it post on the site but i did come up yet

Why does it have hurt so bad?
Why does she make me feel so sad?

Why can�t things be the ever same
What happened to us was a shame
All of my life where she had been?
I wish I just could hold her again

Why does it have hurt so bad?
Why does she make me feel so sad?

I fell for her, but I hit the ground
I can�t stand to see her walking down the halls
For my heart is does pound
And I can�t go back to just friends
For then the memorizes will never fade and the hurt never end

Why does it have hurt so bad?
Why does she make me feel so sad?
Was it reallfy just a stupid fad?

I know it�s not her fault
And I need to some mature adult
It was just going to happen anyway
Is what they say
But the doesn�t change the way I fell

I know it was for the best
Fuck the best, I�m still a mess
And I must confess
I put my life to the test

Why does it have hurt so bad?


please tell me what you think, if you kids wanna hear the story behind it post and i'll respond
 #2 
Old 2002-06-17, 00:50
Regular
 
Default Re: A poem explaining my current life, it post on the site but i did come up yet

not bad, but sometimes rhyme scheme can kill a poem.
 #3 
Old 2002-07-05, 08:58
Dr Know Dr Know is offline
Regular
 
Default Re: A poem explaining my current life, it post on the site but i did come up yet

hey bar room hero i havent seen you here at totse for a long time

yeah nice poem
 #4 
Old 2002-07-22, 07:15
jak719usa jak719usa is offline
Regular
 
Default Re: A poem explaining my current life, it post on the site but i did come up yet

It was good. But you got off your rhyming pattern. which didn't make it sound right.
 
To the best of our knowledge, the text on this page may be freely reproduced and distributed.
 

totse.com certificate signatures
 
 
About | Community | Bad Ideas | Drugs | Ego | Erotica | Fringe | Society | Technology
Hot Topics