hey whatever happened to calvinball?

I'll get the wickets.

yea no doubt. meet me sunday with the masks out in the field

The Badminton Raquets also serve as Horses!
HOLD IT! You're in mime-ing zone! you have to pull an imaginary rope!

I do not, I'm carrying the anti-miming bucket! I declared you mute, Life_sucks, at the declaration station so you have to wear the play-dough glasses and lose & points!

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

Oh, yeah??? I have the god mode helmet, so I defy anything you pull. Now stand on your head! Then, Put your head on the end of a broomstick, and run on axis!

Your god helmet is invalidated by my Mephistopheles scarf. After all, "tis better to reign in hell than serve in heaven." So you know what to do with the broom now dontcha?

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

Im standing in the god zone so I've killed you all.

Unfortunately my crabapple of nullification allows me to declare all of you non existant at which point it is impossible for you to oppose me awarding myself one million points!

quote:

---

Originally posted by The_Famicommie:
Your god helmet is invalidated by my Mephistopheles scarf. After all, "tis better to reign in hell than serve in heaven." So you know what to do with the broom now dontcha?

---

Yep. Stick it up Fammie's ass!

I ignore riot, thus forcing him to disappear as though he were a monster from underneath the bed.

HA! I touched the tree of hermes, you all have to run around the plains of dispair (my basement).

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

I was touching the reversification wicket. So you have to run in circles commie.

Why <huff> is it <huff> that no matter <huff> how much I <huff> ignore you, you won't go <huff> away <wheeze>?!?!?!?!?

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

quote:

---

Originally posted by Life_sucks:
Yep. Stick it up Fammie's ass!

---

You fool, I'm using the mallet of chastity. Now you have to pretend that you're an amoeba.

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

An amoeba, huh? Then I touch the "super goo", which gives me super speed! now I merely blob around, and then Blob at top speed when anyone gets near me! HA!

*hits the blob formerly known as life_sucks with his mallet*

*watches in horror as life_sucks simply divides into 2 seperate entities*

Shit...

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

That's Right... I'm INVINCEBLE!!!
NO ONE CAN DESTROY ME!! *evil laugh ensues*

Now, I go to blob on the calvin ball! Now it's actually IN me!! Now, You people have to steal it from me!

BUT YOU CAN'T! I have superspeed, Remember? you'll have to devise Another way to win.


(This is sorta like some kinda Role playing game, isn't it?)

But since you're in the no-stealing-zone you have to GIVE the ball, since we can't steal it! And I declare that you have to write a sorry poem.

I'm sorry to say,
I'll hold you at bay,
and Wherever I go,
You guys still BLOW!

Punks!

*Pegs sucks w/ de-amobatization ball. Sucks sits there looking rather naked and confused.*

Ha! Now I've got the Calvinball. I declare you all to be nth degree ninconpoops! *thbbbppptt*

Shit!

HA! You would have had us, riot, had it not been for the fact that you exposed your tongue in the lick square *draws a square around riot real quick like*. Now you have to throw the calvinball up in the air and lick oddly phallic objects!

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

*throws ball up in air*

hmmm what looks like a dick around here...

*tackles the commie and licks his forehead*

HaHaHa...

I NOW HAVE THE CALVINBALL! AND I AM UNSTOPPABLE!!

Oh, by the way, Riot, Fami, you are also both in a 100 mile radius of the robot flag zone.

*tHeRoBoT instantly plants the robot flag into the ground*

Since you are not robots, you both have to drop your pants and sing "I'm A Little Teapot."

*Maniacal robot laughing is heard throughout the CalvinBall course*

I red flag you for flagging. Now, due to the contradictions clause, robot, I recieve the calvinball and you have to pretend that you have no brain.

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

Hey, Famicommie, I'm a robot, remember. I have a microprocessor, not a brain. So ha!

OOPS! You completely forgot that I'm in the game!

*Grabs Calvinball from robots digits*

*smashes him over the head with it*

*runs like mad!*

RIGHT! I have the disk of anger! anyone gets near me, and I get pissed and destroy you!!!
lol!

*Flashes a literally card*
*Watches as Life_Sucks pisses his pants*
*Watches the piss short curcuit therobot*
*Pulls the ball from a now thoroughly embarassed Life_Sucks*
*Increases his score by & points*
HA!
*Runs to the fertility tree*
Uh-Oh

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

*Grabs the literal card from the commie.*

Hey commie you gotta get it on w/ the fertility tree now. And don't just put half your ass into it I wanna see some mad passionate tree love!

Grabs Calvin ball and declares it to be triplicate Tuesday, wherein all new rule ideas (except for mine, subclause 4f/subsection B1) must be submitted in triplicate and notarized by the church of Jerry Springer.

lmao
Jerry springer: Well, now, Lets bring out guest no. 1, mr. death!
mr. death: hello
L_s: hey death, Riot kid says that you suck!
And hey, he's holding the literal card!
Mr. death: y u...

*runs away to hide and get a good view of the oncoming slaughter*

Ohhh... Ohh... Ow!

*Pulls out figurative card.*

You may have killed my sex drive but self discipline is the path to victory. Figuratively speaking of course.

*Throws calvinball at lifesucks' head and runs off to find his cigarettes.*

Hey guys, we should expand this game of calvinball into other forums. Imagine how confused everyone would get. He he he.

[This message has been edited by riot_kid (edited 11-27-2001).]

Yes!!!
I'll start.
Everyone, to sex and affection!

Look, riot told you to do it, not me.

If we're going to do this, we should do it in "thread-tag" fashion.

Where's my next move going to be? I dunno...

*Grabs the Calvinball and runs to another topic in another forum.

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

New Rule:
To keep confusion down a LITLLE, after you find the calvinball post where it was here.

example:
I ran off to I found it on the web, under the topic HELP. TheRobot found it, and thinks he can escape me in anime.

This is going to piss some people off

CALVINBALL FOREVER!

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

OK. I'm no longer in anime. I am currently in the backyard ballistics forum. See ya later!



------------------
There are three kinds of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

You don't have to post where you're going, just where you found it.

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

I actually really like all this confusion. It makes me laugh that no one has any clue whatsoever currently what's going on. Commie you touched the Barney Fife wicket. You must now stutter and become confused about everything.

HA! That's what you think, ass! But being a discordian, I simply draw power from the confusion.

Oh, shit, I'm holding the figuratively card

*Watches as his penis, the figurative source of male power, grows to 5 meters and becomes prehensile*

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

lmao

*slaps life_sucks with his prehensile penis*

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

*Grabs Calvinball*

Ha I'm in the endzone! Since it's mortality monday and death is my bitch I declare you all to be dead. Don't pout, these things happen.

No, somebody already tried to kill all of us. It didn't work

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

yeah, and I just kicked you in the face anyways.

Okay it's on! I challenge you to a duel Mr. Life Sucks. *Grabs Mallet* "Prepare to meet thy maker you villainous rogue." *swings at sucks*

...to be continued...

*looks at his watch*
Dammit riot, you've been frozen in a poised swing for five days!
*grabs the calvinball and runs*

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

sorry, riot, you've been swinging at nothing. My computer is away getting fixed, and this is my only chance.

OK, I accept your challenge. Grabs the bat as he swings, and pulls it out of riots hands, and swings back.
POW!!!!...oops, I hit cobra as well... Actually, that was fun! screw you, riot! I'm just gonna bash around cobra, here!

*Starts chasing Commie*
huff huff huff wheeze *burp* Gooah I know how to getcha!

*Out of no where an amazingly large Pot plant appears*

I had nothing to do with it I swear!

*Hides in bushes*

lol

I love these friendly little games!

*Grabs Cannabis*
*Runs, leaving riot potless*
*Gets the munchies and eats the Calvinball*

------------------
Common Sense Is What Tells You The Earth Is Flat

*Jumps onto commies back while he's steeling pot*

Ha, he didn't notice me! Now I can follow him back to the Deathstar, steal the plans and transmit them back to the Rebel Alliance.

*Polishes croquet mallet with an evil glint in his eye while clinging to commies back unnoticed.*

"Mwuhahahahaha!"
*hops from behind the bushes with a wicket of freezy peoples*
"I freeze you all with the wicket of freezy peoples!"
*points to the wicket that has been hastily jammed in the ground, grabs the calvinball and runs!!!!*
(gasp, wheez, cough, gag) damn pot!

I'm still wearing the Mephistopheles scarf, and holding the figurative card. It's hotter than hell around here.

*Watches everything unfreeze, and prods riot with a stick*

Prodding penalty! Proceed to the penalty area where you will be held accountable for all of thine offenses!

Old English Decree!

Myne arse shall never travel to proddyng pens of thou's foulest imagynation! A pox on thee and thy seed for fyve thousand generations! Never wyl myself be found submitting to such a rogue most vyllanous! Perhaps a taste of the wynd from myne backsyde shall set thee straight!

*Teareth A Wind MOst Rancyd upon the image of Ryot*

I find thine old english most offensive.

Suffer a double the penalty for terrible old english grammar and syntax and eat your scarf. Ohhh heartburn.

*Grabs calvin ball and places it on the triple wordscore square.*

Ha, that triple the points for spelling quisinart. The best part is I did it without any Q's or U's!

HA! I hijacked the death star! I'm pointing the damn thing at your ass! Ahh, be able to destroy planets, with ALL of you still on it!

Hell, that gives me 100 points! woo hoo!

*grabs pot* I will now render you all defense-less! *throws pot to the ground*
*watches as everyone else cringes in pain at the sight*

Sweet! me being impervious to the stuff, don't have to worry aboot eet! me and has bad engleesh!... oh, shit!


to be continued...

HA! I hijacked the death star! I'm pointing the damn thing at your ass! Ahh, be able to destroy planets, with ALL of you still on it!

Hell, that gives me 100 points! woo hoo!

*grabs pot* I will now render you all defense-less! *throws pot to the ground*
*stomps on it*
*watches as everyone else cringes in pain at the sight*

Sweet! me being impervious to the stuff, don't have to worry aboot eet! me and has bad engleesh!... oh, shit!


to be continued...

(sorry, I screwed up)

*Grabs 9 volt battery. Contemplates it for a moment. Throws it at Deathstar.*

Ha that'll fix ya!

*Watches Deathstar fall to pieces due to the fact that it was manufactured in indonesia by 11 year olds who couldn't get jobs at the Nike factory*

Sweet, I get 50 1/3 points for stopping your evil empire.

You ass! The calvinball and the deathstar were one and the same! You just destroyed the calvinball, now what are we going to use?

How 'bout his Head?

nay, my lest testicle is glass lets use it!
(by the way can I play?)

quote:

---

Originally posted by TheOneWhoCallsHimselfBob:
nay, my lest testicle is glass lets use it!
(by the way can I play?)

---

Of course. Welcome to the Game! Somebody get a knife!

Ciao!

I've got a knife on my swiss army croquet mallet! Or do I have a croquet mallet on my swiss army knife?

Don't care.
Gimme!

*grabs Knife/Croquet hybrid, Cuts off Bob's nut*

Behold, our new calvinball!

Game on!

That must've been messy, considering that bob's testicles haven't dropped yet...

And isn't that kind of small for a calvinball?

*Grabs bob's nut from a stupified life*

I declare myslef a new combination player/ref
due to the fact that I'm missing my mallet. I eject you all from the game unless you can produce a marriage certificate, notarized by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I object on grounds that Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger resigned in May 30, 1432.
According to rule 5666782901beta397 subsection d5 "The producer of the calvin ball has authority on 5 and 1/16 decisions on any complaint made on Arnold Schwarzenegger's political situation." Therefore I find your request for a marrige certificate signed by the formerly mentioned Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger invalid.


*While The_Famicommie is doing his victory dance I switch it with a golf ball unoticed.*

But since I declare that he's in the self-less self-less self-less zone he has to apologize to every person he meets until he finds the hidden calvinball wicket

lol

...
Damn, I have no Idea what to do, now...

*grabs mallet, starts randomely whacking people over the head with it*

haha

Hey, what are those mushrooms growing on the ground over there?

*eats one*

WhOa, ThE cAlViNbAlL iS rEaLly A pRolEtArIaT

*Stares at the golf ball, watching it change colors*

Here's the really sorry song won't you help and sing along?

I'm sorry!

-backupsingers "He's so sorry."

So very sorry, that I attempted to use Shwartzenegger.

-backupsingers "What a dirty dirty cheater and reneger."

Most profound apologies to one and all!

-backupsingers "Now lets get back to playing Calvinball!"

*sicks backupsingers on one overly violent lifesucks*

Ha, I stole your flag of the Subgenius Bob. Now I shall desecrate it w/ my unholy frenchfries of extreme ludeness. Hmmm... that doesn't taste like catsup.

Ack!
Damn Backupsingers!

DIE!
*Rips thier heads off MK style*
haha, you're dead!

kicks riot in the crotch

"I'm so sorry (he's so sorry) I kicked you in the crotch (now, there is a splotch) I hope you live (he hopes they won't give)"

Ciao

So, you killed riot's backup singers, but then you used your own?

*The backup singers look at a now horrified Life, and try to tear of his head in a fit of vengeance for their fallen brethren*

*Fami sips from a cup of irony*

*Eggs on enraged backup singers.*

I just tagged the Xtreme speech wicket. From now on everyone has to take their posting to the max. Post like there is Xtreme pressure in your colon. Dude!

DOOD! CARVE YOUR TIGHT MUG INTO THIS XTREME GAME!

*The pressure in Fami's colon builds up to a point where it explodes, covering riot in shit*

I think you should be the exclamation point...

Dude, I was using my umbrella of extreme repulsifications. You are now covered in your own feces. And since during your totally tubular colon clearing extreme explosion you neglected to notice that you had stumbled into the lick square you must clean yourself to the max like a cat!

Dude! I Don't Know How To Talk To The Max!!!! *Taps the wicket again* Thank god that's over. *wipes colon remains off glasses*

*Is still holding the literally card*

I'm rubber, riot kid's glue...

*The literally card melts, fires the feces in the wrong direction, and hit's bobby's glasses again*

[pun]SHIT![/pun]

*wipes shit off face* Hey I'm shitfaced! Stumbles about picks up calvin ball and runs at the wicket of drunken mumbling.

Hrgasmafor yargos I winning now!

*ninja flips in from a dense cloud formation*


I invoke the doughnut shaped rednblue card!
*watches as riot_kid is hauled in by a police car on drunk&disorderly charges then grabs the calvinball n runs towards the wickets of disorder*

Aha Raf, genious idea! For me! As I have already stated, I am a Discordian, and draw power from confusion (note the 5 ft prehensile penis) and hus gain ^% points from your actions.

*Proceeds to take the Calvinball to use it to destroy the wicket of order, thus destroying the balance*

Cosmic connections! *The police car explodes. Riot kid is propelled through the air towards the disorderly wicket but becomes entangeled in a hammock and decides to stay there for a while...*

*brandishes an axe*

nooo what have i done?!?!?!?!
there is only one way i can defeat your evil discordian principles....
*gets out an accordian and starts playing an irish jig*
i declare from the irish pub zone that all players must paint themselves green and drink irish whiskey, if not irish whiskey is available they must substitute the whiskey with irish made drain cleaner.

*Summons forth Guyute, the irish pig*

Guyute, dance upon Raf and show him some other tricks*

*Guyute carries out his orders*

aaarrgh! a most fiendish pig stomping if there ever was one, with quaint overtones of wilderberries it might seem.
*ponders eternal life while being stomped apon by a porcus delecti*
is this one of those tasty tasty pigs, sorta like a hungry hungry hippo but not?

*Whilst Raf ponders existence, Famicommie take the Calvinball and hits wicket 9*

GOAL!!! I get 996e39 points!

haHA! wicket 9 belongs to the Green Lantern according to article52bsectionA part 932 in the croquet manual, so the green lantern gets 996e39 points!


hehehehehehe

Marvel is better clause 8. subsection f:
All things DC suck, therefore the Famicommie must accept all points, even the ones at the end of writing utensils...

And it goes on like this?

Stabs commie in the neck w/ various writing utensils. There are some points for ya.

Skips back to his hammock humming merrily.

*Realizes he is still carrying the axe*
*Contemplates the action of chopping down the tree supporting the hammock*
*Pulls the centre of the hammock down and slingshots riot into the air*

dub pulls out the sprout of orthodox jewishness and sniggers as fami has to don a silly hat and sideburns down to his knees, then in a double whammy pulls out the pogrom card bannishing fami to siberia.

Wait, isn't the siberian field kind of big?

...if I were a wealthy man!

*gets out of hammock*

I declare today post St Patricks Day Patricide Party Time or SPDPPT everyone go kill your fathers. Double points if you do it while wearing green drinking beer or use a leperchaun. Tripple points if you accomplish this feat naked using only a shamrock!

*kills riot_kid with a shamrock!*

*gets in riot's hammock*

*slaps the stump of hornieness*

For the rest of the day, everyone but The Fammicommie must follow BSK in raping every object they see.

*Laughs manically*

I now have the 100th post, so I declare ultimate-super-duper invincibility against your stump of hornieness.

*Riot_Kid walks away sadly from tHeRoBoT, due to the fact that he cannot rape him.*

Since I have the 100th post, I declare that all non-robot players must now clean the bathroom at the gas station across the street from my house with their tongues.

All robots may get 4324231497231498ee232232 points instead and poession of the Calvinball.

We're all half robot. the whole world is a robot in the eyes of those who oppress us, and since fighting them is extremely hard, We'll simply stay as robots and take the 3225709134578837450931745093746 points, thankewverymuch.

also, I render your previous statement of invulnerability null and void. everyone ATTACK!

Rage lyrics are a little too ridiculous, even for calvinball.

*Picks up the robot with the power of nearly 1,000 posts, and throws him in a pool*

Bob, as your father I banish you to your room where you must work on your macrame and think about the wrongness of what you've done. Running around naked like that... the gall! I'm going to have a few words with you're mother when I get home from work tomorrow.

Dad, your living in the past. NUDITY IS FREEDOM!

*Grabs Calvin Ball*

I proclaim myself Emperor of the trees. My Empire is vast my trees are great and majestic.

*basks in imperial glory*

i declaire myself left wing activist of chainsaws, protector of axes.

*chop, buzz*

*grabs calvinball in ghandi like smock and sandals*

Ok, dub, but wasn't Ghandi against the use of violence in a situation like this one? Because of this, you'll have to go on a hunger strike.

*tHeRoBoT grabs the Calvinball from dub's weakened body while he is suffering from starvation.*



[This message has been edited by tHeRoBoT49 (edited 03-22-2002).]

due to this is my 111 post you must bow down before me and give all you points in honor of me. Then you may call youself the servant of the divine #1

ghandi shmandi

*grabs protein pills and anabolic steroids*

[arnie like austrian accent]hahaha punny weakling watch as i pull of my skin to show u what a real robot is about[/arnie like austrian accent]

*grabs robots head and pulls*

*forgets about calvinball and goes to play "use robots head in interesting sexual fetish with aid of blue paint and inflatable sheep with 3 vibrateing orofices"*

anyone for a game?

*Smashes Bobo with 900 something posts*

And now I will smash dub by pointing out various plot holes in Arnold Schwaranegger movies.

*Begins to read off of an endless list*

Nooooo, say it ain't so, say it ain't so!

*melts in big lake of moulten metal*

boink

I award TOWCHBob (5000) lbs. fer bumping Calvinball and keeping it alive.

*Yoinks the Calvinball and runs toward wicket 8b, the wicket of mummification.*

*dons wig of bad Brendan Fraser hair*

Prepare to die foul egyptian!

Haha

*pulls out an odd looking sword*

I hold the sword of Vermillion! bow, or I cut off your head!

*starts chopping*

*joins the marines*
haha! your puny sword is no match for my thick leatherneck!

*Falls in line behind TOWCHBob*

Now I am the mummy marine, it is truly an army of darkness.

"Brandishes chainsaw arm*

*inexplicable lame plot twist*

Ha, due to, um, thermal aircurrents it's currently raining molten rock and flesh eating ravenous beatles on all of you. I'm now going to go make out w/ that british archeologist chick.

ravenous BEATLES??? dude, paul mcartney is trying to eat me! oh, hey look: John Lennon just chomped off riot kid's dick! haha!

*sword of vermillion glows*
What the hell?? hey, it's... a SUPER POWER! (cue patriotic, heroic music)
Ack! *sword starts firing large plasma beams, destroying every moving thing in it's path*

Die, Egyptian mummy scum!

Ohhh! My Baby!!!!
*swaddles the Calvinball*
*walks delicately past the gentlemen removing their hats*

The Sword of Vermillion has just hit it's 100th target! I officially make myself warrior supreme!
*turns on "stealth pack"*

I'm watching you...

hey, wtf people, everyone's dropping out?
I guess that means the game's over.

(sighs)

Due to a pre end game, end game declaration, Township Rebellion now has to make love to the fat lady till she stops singing.

*The Chinese Mafia walks out*

Take em out boys.

*The triads do some Kung-Fu boogaboogadu shit on TOWCHBob*

*remaining testicle glows*
SUPER ULTRA NAD SLAP OF DOOM!!!!
*Rides off into the sunset with an ice pack in his pants*

EEk! Erk!! acK!!!

aw, man, this is gross!

that's it! under the subcode section BF30, line 12, there will be no more fucking ugly fat people. it's just gross

speaking, of women, how come none of the ladies have joined our little game??

*takes his meat hook in search of women to drag in*

*cooks the meat hook and eats it*

We seem to have forgotten one of the major points of this, IT'S A GAME! Township you're it!

*tags township*

*runs off making silly sounds*

wub wub wub wub

"It"?

hey, what's this thing over here?

Cool!
*Picks up the Enhanced meat hook of solidification*

*throws it at riot kid*
*riot kid immediately turns to stone*

Tag! You're "It"!

mwuh aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh hahahahahah!!!
I got the 130th post! All hail..? hey, where is everybody? is this game dying? so soon?

You never learn do you? OHHH, FAT LADY!!! Due to your blatent disregard of the double post ban of 1998, For the rest of the month you can't touch the calvinball with anything but Bill Clintons jockstrap. If the calvinball comes in contact with anything else, you will be forced to get those horrible stains out of Monica Lewinski's skirt. That is the ruling of this kangaroo cout.

"Fat Lady"? soooo... the game IS over???

nuts. oh well.

good game!

*wonders how long it will take for township rebbelion to figure it out*

*Laughs his ass off at TR.*

*Uses his ass to get a field goal*

SCORE!!!!!!! HAT TRICK!!!!!!!! SUMMON FAIREY HOCKEY PLAYER!!!!!!!!! CHUG!!!!!!!!!

what the hell???

I thought the game was over..? You're right, I have no clue as to what's going on. Is the game still going (at an unreasonably slow pace) on? Because barely anyone is posting here! There's no game when nobody posts!

Calvinball is a limitless vessel;
Used by the self, it is not filled by the world;
It cannot be cut, knotted, dimmed or stilled;
Its depths are hidden, ubiquitous and eternal;
I don't know where it comes from;
It comes before nature.

~From the Calvinball Teh Ching

Using Asian philosophies, huh, Fami? I now declare myself to be Mr. Sparkle and all of you dirt. And since I'm a corporate logo who is disrespectful to dirt, I banish you all to the Land of Wind and Ghosts and give myself 1 point.

Your declaration is null and void due to the fact that crazy japanese people can only pronounce "Mr. Sparka"

*Pulls out a bag of cat litter and dumps it into the robot's joints*

I have found a new calvinball. It's made of rock, and it's HUGE.

hmm, I better break it down to size!

*smashes it over a perplexed fami's head*

ahh, that's better.

Ciao, TR

As long as I exist, Calvinball will follow in suit.

As long as Township Rebellion exists, stupidity will follow in suit.

*Declares himself Sagelike Master Pastor*

*eats a bowl of ice cream*

*Sees his prophecy fulfilled, partakes in ice cream*

quote:

---

Originally posted by The_Famicommie:
As long as I exist, Calvinball will follow in suit.

As long as Township Rebellion exists, stupidity will follow in suit.

*Declares himself Sagelike Master Pastor*

---

I quit... this is getting old.

*Tags -ous insult zone*

*Any wordous, or lack thereofous, including the suffixous -ous is worth three wickets and a special Calvinball bonkous*

You quitous, for thou art a bonerous odorous odious gigundous superflous pompous bastardous.

*Slapsous TOWCHBOBous a most holious highous fiveous*

-Whous

-POOPOUS

-POOPOUS

-POOPOUS

-POOPOUS

-POOPOUS

-POOPOUS

-FAMICOMMIEOUS RULESOUS THEOUS HIZZOUS(e)

*Due toous overuseous ofous theous sufixous isous declaredous dirtyous*

*The_Famicommie is labeled as having a potty mouth and everybody's mom forbids them from playing with him *

*Throws the calvinball to The_Famicommie*

*sticks his tongue out at his mom*

According to my left foot, my tongue solute gave me the right to 5E rules and two and 1/2 wickets.

To keep the game interesting(and to annoy nonplayers) all topics on page one of any forum are now fair game. But to keep it within sight of sane, when next post is found, the next player to post must add a link to the post they are replying to here. Also all posts must be numbered to keep an order going. This also weeds out the people not smart enough to understand my intructions.

Post #1

We already did that a few months ago. I annoint the, oh Holeyist of Bobs, to carry out a similar mission on the oldest posts that exist on each board, for I am far too lazy for such endeavors

*Retires to his throne to drop some friends off at the pool*

*the holiest of Bobs speaks*
From hence forth August 13 will be known as
"I knew that day". For one hour of this day, all must respond to any statement with I knew that.

I knew that!

*fondels riot_kid poseing as a priest*

quote:

---

Originally posted by TOWCHBob:
*the holiest of Bobs speaks*
I knew that!
*fondels riot_kid poseing as a priest*

---

*Grabs double mis-spelling stick, for DOUBLE points*

*Still solid*

Appoints himself "Rocking out!"
Receives 8X points.

X being the number of times Bob misspells something and the commie points it out

Pronunciation play:

Bourbon

Sadist

*Recieves XXX points*

*You figure it out*

i dont even think jimi hendrix concerts where THAT trippy............

*places a crown of poop around UberSoldat's head*

If yer gonna play pardner, play fer the luva christ.

lol amen i own every Calvin and hobbes book ever published

*uses the Flag of Ineptitude to declare FamiCommie Inept and illiterate*

*sings the I Won't Let This Topic Die song*

*Uses meat tenderizer to limber up.*

Nails the commie w/ the boomerang of chilling out. You must now sing the "I'm totally lame!" song, or bring me a slurpy.

*Watches Riot Kid beat his meat*

*Adorns Riot Kid with a Blue Mountain Dew slurpee*

I hereby pass the smilies bill into law:

No, Mountain Dew Code Red is superior, because it rocks in an extreme manner!

*The Commie disagrees, and the People's Extreme Mountan Dew Code Red Army head toward Fami for denying his communist roots.*

HA HA HA

*Fami tries to escape, but is hypnotized by Evil Communist Babysitter Joseph Stalin.*

*grabs the calvinball and passes it to comrade riot_kid for triple smiley points*

Mountains? Triple points? Not so fast!

*Whips out a book of logic, instantly melting the mountain of code red slurpee*

;0

You fool! Do you relize what you have done? Mountain Dew Code Red was the only currency still worth anything. By flooding the world with melted slurpee the you have sent the global economy in to chaos.

*turns to comrade riot_kid in hopes he can save materialism as we know it*

*starts drinking the now Mountain Dew: Code Red flavored ocean*

quote:

---

Originally posted by tHeRoBoT49:
No, Mountain Dew Code Red is superior, because it rocks in an extreme manner!

*The Commie disagrees, and the People's Extreme Mountan Dew Code Red Army head toward Fami for denying his communist roots.*

HA HA HA

*Fami tries to escape, but is hypnotized by Evil Communist Babysitter Joseph Stalin.*

---

I don't think "famicommie" is referring to communism... or is it? commie?

I hold no beliefs.

They only slow you down as you move in for the calvinball.

I am not a nihilist, nor do I hold beliefs.

An instinctual killer of old people, retards, babies, and cripples.

Hear me.

Fear me.

Beer me!

*Passes out drunk on communal code red wine*

This is the most funked up game of Calvinball I've ever seen...

*ducks and covers*
*Then drinks Dr. Pepper Red Fusion (far superior)*
buuurp, 3 million points and a newbie hat

hey can i play too?

*goes diving in the code red for a mallet in canyonero's size*
*hands the sacred mallet to canyonero*

Sure you can. So, how do you play "too"? Is it a card game?

A retard killer huh?
*pokes The_Famicommie in the eye with the finger of empathy*
You must now must act like a retard until I stub my toe on a rock of smartness.

*recieves mallet with awe*
*oohs and aahhhhs*
i hereby invoke the "too" rule:

[what's a 'too' rule?]

i dunno, but invoke it anyway
screw it i'm headed for ninth base....

*invokes the won rule just to be silly*
I think it's time for some calvin ball hazing. I'll grab the tub of lard!

Wow. This topic is about to reach the 1 year mark.

man this topic is old. and i had the 3rd post on it. yay for me

*Declares Bob retarded*

*Kills Bob*

*throws flowers on Bob's grave for 5 million points*
*stands on soapbox*
it's all fun & games until somebody loses their life! what has this once mighty institution become? OOOOHHH the HUMANITY!!!!

*ducks thrown mallet*
*invokes the jesus rule and brings back towchbob from the dead* ha ha!
10 billion bonus points, plus immunity fom death and three bases.

*drinks more red fusion* buurp...

Oh no! I never thought that anybody could handle the Lazarus rule! Now Bob can reach the Chinese wickets, as he can walk on water!

*resurrects riot_kids backup singers with his new godlike powers*

Haha! I have the most powerful wickets in the universe at my disposal! Canyonero, thank you. The Jesus rule has givin me the power to walk across this ocean of code red. If riot_kid won't end this depression, then I will.

Wait a minute... Depression? That means my wickets are nothing more than china junk!

*TOWCHBob turns back into a mortal*

Damnit!
I invoke the looney toons rule. You must all talk like looney toons.

It's The_Famicommie season!

TOWCHBob season!

I tawt I taw a Cowvinbaw. I diiid, I diiid, I did twaw a Cowvinbaw.....

Thufferin Thuckotash, just play the game alreadeee.....

*this is hard*

Hey, is there a doctor in the house?

PEOPLE????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

The_Famicommie season!

*pulls giant mallet out of back pocket*

NOW IM GONNA GET YA!!!!

TOWCHBob season!

*tHeRoBoT pulls out his ACME rocketsled, coming fast toward Famicommie...*

TOWCHBob season!

Famicommie Season!

Whatever you say Famicommie, FIRE!

You're dethpicable!

*for no apparent reason declares himself Supreme Axe Murdurer and whacks The_Famicommie in the head with a saxophone*

What Now!!??