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| Vogon Poetry - The Worst in The Universe Vogon Poetry is by far the worst in the universe. This forum includes all forms of literary creative expression. Please post ONLY your own work and try not to flame other users. Bad vogonesque poetry, is of course, still welcome here. |
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#1
 2008-12-05, 21:15
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First Paragraph of a Short I'm Writing...
Tolls from the bells. The air was pulsating with the dead and the dying, the hushes of their bitter tones were too quiet to detect, but you could feel them. An ominous chill would slither down your spine and into your lungs like an adder through the grass. And there it caught, petrifying your breath until it came out in short bursts and white clouds. Your body would ache from the anguish in the air and you felt the complete utter despair of this world and the next, and had no wish to be in either. Your only desire was that you could continue on, in a frivolous existence, and escape notice of the horrors awaiting you both here and there. You plead and you pray. And still the bells toll.
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#2
 2008-12-07, 17:27
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onthegrassyknoll 
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Re: First Paragraph of a Short I'm Writing...
It's okay, perhaps a bit too vague and generic. Try using less hackneyed imagery and it'll be a fine opener.
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#3
 2008-12-23, 02:16
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DukeofNewYork, A#1 
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Re: First Paragraph of a Short I'm Writing...
awful
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