You know, taking a couple of bags of doritos, crushing them up and shoving it all in one dorito bag, adding slim jim pieces or beef jerky and some kind of sauce/condiment, then water, and letting the doritos absorb the water and solidify into a bag shaped loaf termed the "jailhouse burrito."

Also can substitute ramen noodles for doritos. There's instructional videos on youtube.

So anyone ever have one of these? Are they as terrible as one would imagine? I challenge a totsean to make and eat one at home and document his findings. I don't think I could stomach it.

Sounds disgusting. And salty as fuck. I'd probably stroke out.


*ObZ

and I came in here thinking that you wanted to talk about prison rape.

That sounds fucking disgusting man.

I know.

Thats why I'm glad I know a few good lawyers.

I don't see how it would be too bad, it would just be like eating a bite of Dorito, Slim Jim and selected condiment all in one bite.

I do know a guy in jail who's making booze in the back of his toilet. That would be interesting.

Do we have a volunteer? Is that what I'm reading?

The condiment could be something expected like taco sauce...or it could be ketchup, mustard, bbq sauce...whatever one can get. I'm curious how the ketchup would work out.

I do know a guy in jail who's making booze in the back of his toilet. That would be interesting.

Jail booze is piss easy to make, I know a guy who used to work for a gas company, a few years back they sent him to Libya where alcohol is illegal, he said what most people do there is just mix yeast with highly sugary fruit juice (like pomegranate), let it ferment for a while and then distill.

He said some of it actually ends up tasting nice and it gets you fucked up.

Back in high school all the trashy kids used to do this. That, and they'd put ranch dressing on their pizza and fold it the slice to eat it.

Back in high school all the trashy kids used to do this. That, and they'd put ranch dressing on their pizza and fold it the slice to eat it.

Really? I mean, yeah we used to do that with pizza too...but the jailhouse burrito thing is not on the same level as putting ranch dressing on pizza. I do that sometimes.

Do we have a volunteer? Is that what I'm reading?

The condiment could be something expected like taco sauce...or it could be ketchup, mustard, bbq sauce...whatever one can get. I'm curious how the ketchup would work out.

I would do it, but I'm veggie and it doesn't sounds like it'd be the same without the slim jim or jerky in there.

I would do it, but I'm veggie and it doesn't sounds like it'd be the same without the slim jim or jerky in there.

Now see, what the fuck is the point of that. This is in the interest of science! That slim jim you buy comes from an animal that has been long dead, you aren't pardoning it by refusing.

Though actually the ramen noodle version video I saw on youtube didn't have any meat in it. He just broke up the noodles by smacking them around in the bag, added the seasoning, water, and rolled it up really tight in the bag, wrapping bandage gauze around the bag and letting it sit for a while. Then he ate it.

back in high school the cafeteria used to sell these they called them walking taco's and used ground beef with salsa and sour cream. they were absolutely delicious.

Now see, what the fuck is the point of that. This is in the interest of science! That slim jim you buy comes from an animal that has been long dead, you aren't pardoning it by refusing.

Though actually the ramen noodle version video I saw on youtube didn't have any meat in it. He just broke up the noodles by smacking them around in the bag, added the seasoning, water, and rolled it up really tight in the bag, wrapping bandage gauze around the bag and letting it sit for a while. Then he ate it.

I'll try the ramen one. How much water?

That isnt a jail house burrito.. thats a waste of comensary.
When i did a stretch in a facility we used to love making jail slushies at dinner when they would give us grape popsicles and shit we would put the popsicle in our glasses of water and it would make a great drink to wash down your red chili enchiladas they serve on thursday nights.

Another delicious jail house dish is maruchan noddles in a cup (preferably shrimp) mixed with a couple packets of louisiana hot sauce and sliced up hot dogs.

fuck man i hated the food. it sucks waking up on a sunday morning to eat some powdered nasty ass eggs and plain corn flakes.

Jail booze is piss easy to make, I know a guy who used to work for a gas company, a few years back they sent him to Libya where alcohol is illegal, he said what most people do there is just mix yeast with highly sugary fruit juice (like pomegranate), let it ferment for a while and then distill.

He said some of it actually ends up tasting nice and it gets you fucked up.

And yeah, jail food is bad. But the kind of shit yall are talking about is penitentiary fare, really. Especially the wine. And btw, never drink that shit. They're supposed to drink the shit that evaporates and runs off the top of whatever they use to make it, but they don't, they just filter it and drink. Contains all sorts of bad shit. I knew a guy that I was in jail with, was healthy as can be (for being in jail) and had only been in for 30 days when I got out. He never really drank before this. A couple of weeks after I got out, his case went through... and he got 6 years in the pen. After only 8 months of drinking that shit, his liver was the size of a 50 year old alcoholic's, and he died. That shit is no joke.

And most of the time they can't even get yeast. Who the fuck has YEAST in a penitentiary? They use bread, or anything with a little yeast content.

Shut the fuck up cholo. I bet you were in jail for like three days. And I bet it was juvie.

Shut the fuck up cholo. I bet you were in jail for like three days. And I bet it was juvie.

think what you want dumb cunt.

think what you want dumb cunt.

You too, sweet cheeks.

Most jail food is tolerable. Fuck jail spaghetti though. Although commensary is the only shit you can get in there that I'd consider "good." (nutty bars, doritos, kit-kats and all that shit.) And although I love Marauchi noodles, having to crush them up into almost a powder, pour lukewarm water into the bowl with them, add seasoning, and then wrapping it in your towel and letting it sit gets pretty fucking gross after awhile.

Saw that shit done more than I even wanna think about. Never actually tried it though.

When I was in jail we took Ramen, summer sausage, peanuts, jalapeno cheese bars, crackers, salsa and tortilla chips and crushed it all up in an empty potato chip bag, then clogged a sink, filled it with hot water (by propping the lever shut with a shoe) then tied the bag with a hair tie and let it sit in there for about fifteen minutes.

Bon appetite. Not bad with oatmeal cookies either.

ramen egg drop soup is the shit

That sounds like a really unsatisfying way to get diabetes.

I'll try the ramen one. How much water?

I don't really know. Use your discretion or check the internet for a "recipe."

thats a waste of comensary.

do you mean commissary?

mmmmm, yeah those are bomb, or at least when your drunk their bomb! heat up a tortilla add beef jerky, doritos nacho cheese flavored chips, and some Tapatio sauce, and your in the good! although you might wanna keep some tums or rollaids around cuz it'll give you massive heartburn

Those sound absolutely rancid.

Those sound absolutely rancid.
This.

I think I'd rather starve.

xxombie have you tried it yet? Like I said, you'd have to look up on youtube or somewhere instructions for how much water to use...if it even matters. Bleh.

It's ramen, kind've hard to fuck it up. If anything just cover the noodles and heat 'til they're soft, then drain.

that sounds like the worst abomination ever created. worse than this guy.

http://talkingbollocks.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/abomination69903363151.jpg

Or worse:

http://philspector.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/gremlins.jpg

I bring my kids to work and we eat these all the time. its a good meal and real tasty, i dont know why you faggots dont like salty. probably one of them girly ass boys afraid to get their hair greasy. it tastes great, meaty, salty, crunchy. ain't nothin wrong with it.

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

Do not feed the troll. It will give him intestinal problems and he'll shit all over the forums again.

this is the most bizarre troll ever.

LMFAO

This is how we did it as well, and it was pretty damn good. We called it Swoll, or swole, cuz the bag would get swollen. Tortilla chips and the summer sausage with ramen and hot water, if u were lucky someone would bring some chicken back from dinner and throw it in there, shit was blazing when u were hungry at night.

Why the fuck wouldn't you eat the foods individually?!

They taste great.

Jail booze is piss easy to make, I know a guy who used to work for a gas company, a few years back they sent him to Libya where alcohol is illegal, he said what most people do there is just mix yeast with highly sugary fruit juice (like pomegranate), let it ferment for a while and then distill.

He said some of it actually ends up tasting nice and it gets you fucked up.

In Aussie they (Abbos)
Get a 4 litre plastic cask of cheap wine,
pour in as many free McDonalds sugar sachets as they can get,
push in a little bit of bread (yeast),
and leave it in the sun in a hot place (traffic island, home!),
untill the bag swells up,
by then the alcohol content has went up from 9% to 30%,
and drink it.

In Aussie they (Abbos)
Get a 4 litre plastic cask of cheap wine,
pour in as many free McDonalds sugar sachets as they can get,
push in a little bit of bread (yeast),
and leave it in the sun in a hot place (traffic island, home!),
untill the bag swells up,
by then the alcohol content has went up from 9% to 30%,
and drink it.

what bag?

Yes and they suck so fucking much.

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what bag?

When I posted I wasn't 100% sure if they are used all over the world.
Its a cardboard box with a plastic bag (4Litres) inside with a bung on it.

Heres a wiki about it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bag-In-Box#Wine_Casks

Why do you always contribute the nastiest, unhealthiest crap to this forum?

Just a make a normal fucking burrito. It'll be cheaper, healthier, and better. Like really...what is the purpose of making this? Doritos cost like 3 bucks/bag. You could buy a chicken breast for 3 bucks (or ground beef), a bag of tortillas for 2 bucks, and then you just need an onion, green pepper, and some tomatoes for a basic chicken burrito.

Fucking perverse.

Why do your reading comprehension skills suck ass?

Nothing about this thread suggested I was talking about this as something I wanted to make and wanted input on. But it is an "oral indulgence." People eat this shit in jails and prisons. I wanted a totsean to try it and report back on it. You're a fucking faggot. The purpose to making this is you don't have chicken breast, ground beef, beans, tortillas, onions, green peppers, and tomatoes. ITS FOR PEOPLE IN FUCKING JAIL. HENCE THE NAME. You think anybody actually chows down on this stuff as a sought after snack, you sheltered faggot?

Go squander your cooking skills by preparing another meal for just yourself.

When I posted I wasn't 100% sure if they are used all over the world.
Its a cardboard box with a plastic bag (4Litres) inside with a bung on it.

Heres a wiki about it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bag-In-Box#Wine_Casks

Yeah we have those in America. You said cask and for some reason I was picturing like a, chianti bottle.

http://www.nobodyasked.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/chianti1.jpg

Why do your reading comprehension skills suck ass?

Nothing about this thread suggested I was talking about this as something I wanted to make and wanted input on. But it is an "oral indulgence." People eat this shit in jails and prisons. I wanted a totsean to try it and report back on it. You're a fucking faggot. The purpose to making this is you don't have chicken breast, ground beef, beans, tortillas, onions, green peppers, and tomatoes. ITS FOR PEOPLE IN FUCKING JAIL. HENCE THE NAME. You think anybody actually chows down on this stuff as a sought after snack, you sheltered faggot?

Go squander your cooking skills by preparing another meal for just yourself.

I don't even think prisoners would eat that bullshit.

You made this thread because you wanted to try it, you piece of shit. You thought "Hmm, maybe it can become part of my weekly meal plan since I'm trying to save money." You're a disgusting piece of SHIT.

I don't even think prisoners would eat that bullshit.

You made this thread because you wanted to try it, you piece of shit. You thought "Hmm, maybe it can become part of my weekly meal plan since I'm trying to save money." You're a disgusting piece of SHIT.

They do eat it, idiot. Among other things that sound disgusting to us.

And I made this thread weeks before I thought of saving money by eating on an ass tight budget.

A jailhouse burrito sounds like some kind of anal sex move.

I don't even think prisoners would eat that bullshit.

You've obviously never been to jail and/or prison. I've seen motherfuckers eat toothpaste to settle a stomachache.

In Aussie they (Abbos)
Get a 4 litre plastic cask of cheap wine,
pour in as many free McDonalds sugar sachets as they can get,
push in a little bit of bread (yeast),
and leave it in the sun in a hot place (traffic island, home!),
untill the bag swells up,
by then the alcohol content has went up from 9% to 30%,
and drink it.

i seem to remember from my home brewing days that alcohol concentrations above 18% kill even the hardiest brewing specific yeasts they may have been making some kind of solar still type device tho that could work pretty well

You've obviously never been to jail and/or prison.

No wai.

yea i would but im not that fond of throwing up.