1. I was on firewatch and I saw this guy sleepwalking up and down the DI highway while humming a song

2. A guy shitting himself during a pugil fight

3. Fatfucks in PCP

While running EC I found a kid locked inside of a duffle bag in his locker. I actually had to go get scissors to cut him out. When I cut him out, he stared at me and started talking. "Why did you do that? I found God in here"

We found a guy pissing in his footlocker during Warrior Week. The locker was so saturated with piss that the bottom fell out when the instructor picked it up.

I pulled a complete accountability report over the intercom out of my ass, in my sleep. This happened 4 times according to my flight. Run up, do the report, go back to sleep.

4 people tried to form a suicide cult in our building, believing they could kill themselves with boot laces.


Funny -

A kid comes to our flight from the broke-ass squadron and gets in trouble. He tells our TI he wants out. After 2 hours and 39 minutes of embarassment in the dayroom, our TI tells him while banging on the desk "You hear that? That's the final nails in your your casket, boy! Oh, wait, you gotta get in here... *Repeats* Let me catch you screwing around - Your ass is grass and I'm a fucking weedeater!"

A dumbass tried to take a kid on crutches across a 6-lane highway, that was rather goddamn funny when the TIs threw clipboards and shit at him on the other side of the road.

A guy fell asleep with a piece of sandpaper in one hand and a brass belt buckle in the other (he also slept through the entire platoon echoing "FOYER 12!!"). He got discharged soon after.

I was being shown how to correctly iron a handkerchief by the "nasty" corporal from our platoon. He's there, ironing away and my roommate goes to burn a loose thread off his uniform with a lighter that had been tweaked to release a huge flame (he didn't know the lighter had been tampered with). There's a huge flash and a bunch of swearing from my mate and the corporal just calmly keeps ironing and says "Recruit ******, did you just attempt to self immolate?"

Something 'Crazy' was a young recruit having an ND at the range (yes with a live round) and the above "prick" corporal kindly covering it up. That was unexpected.

The platoon sergeant from downstairs had his "favourite recruits", whenever there was a shit job to be done he'd say "where's my FAVOURITE recruits?" and then rattle off their names like he was some kind of bizarre boxing announcer.

"Skit night" was awesome, it's an opportunity to viciously insult your instructors, and admit all of the shit you got away with on their watch while being free from punishment. It occurs on the night before "the challenge" which is a kind of 'all in one' assessment of your training with plenty of road marching, stretcher carrying and running in webbing/boots. The impersonations of each corporal, the sergeant and especially the platoon commander were both accurate and hilarious. The platoon commander seemed to remind me of 'ace rimmer' from the series "Red Dwarf".

Funnest thing I remember was within the first week of basic, a guy wanted out so bad he drank brass polish. Soon after he was violently vomiting and got rushed to hospital

Countless amounts of ND'S by stupid people who can't remember weapons drills, or the degree of weapon readiness

I seen a girl get her finger broken by putting it in the exposed working parts of the weapon during a stoppage at night time, I laughed

Oh and a guy who had Gastro and shat himself during a pt session and had shit running down his leg, the PTI laughed then told him to finish the circuit and go to hospital

Oh man where to start we had a guy drink Gain the laundry detergent

2) Someone tried to slit his wrist with a mach 3 blade

3) A DI licking a tear of a kids face and saying your mine now bitch

4) Recruits Shouting Aye Sir in there sleep.

3) A DI licking a tear of a kids face and saying your mine now bitch


I like the guy already.

3) A DI licking a tear of a kids face and saying your mine now bitch

Oh brother......

Our dauntless and intrepid new enlisted command comes mostly from the drill field. What a bunch of knobs. "Gee I can't wait till I rate a high and tight..." "I wonder what my drill instructor will say to prepare me to go to the fleet...". I've had it with mentally limited mo-tards.

physical contact??? :o

arms length