Like I said in the title, I wanna get my license, but I don't know jack. I've been hitting the practice tests at http://www.qrz.com but from there what do I do?

Look for a local club, or check with arrl.org for info on where to take the test.

OK. Found the local club...I happen to know a couple people in it, now what?

I got my technicians license (lowest level) in Dec 05. Now that they have removed the morse code requirement from the general and extra tickets, it is simply a matter of "memorizing" the question pool. Read thru some of the license handbooks published by the arrl for the basics (you can get a slightly out of date edition for cheap), then take the practice tests on qrz so many times that you recognize each question (or enough to get 70%).

The test itself is given by the club itself, you will need to find out the schedule from them. There is usually a fee of some kind, and you can take all 3 license class tests in one sitting. They grade the tests there and you will know if you passed or not.

Grinding the tests, just like in grinding skills in WoW